By the Power of Blake DeChristopher's Beard!

I have been inspired by Virginia Tech Offensive Tackle Blake DeChristopher. Let me amend that statement. I have been inspired by Blake DeChristopher's BEARD. Have you seen it? Well if you are reading this entry, then you have just seen it in the picture above this text. Is his beard not a thing of beauty? He has apparently been growing it out since he first came to Virginia Tech, four years ago, and it only gets trimmed very rarely. I am currently in week one of my "Scott grows out his facial hair" experiment. This is something I have never tried before. I don't know if its' because I just haven't had the courage to just see what happens, or if it is because I have just been so used to being clean shaven all the time that not shaving for several weeks seems like a huge change to me. That would be the same reason why I am reluctant to try contact lenses. I am so used to wearing glasses that the idea of not wearing them seems like such an exotic idea to me. But, with winter fast approaching, I figured I would give the whole beard thing a try. I am not trying to grow one as long and scraggly as DeChristopher's, nor do I think I could even do so if I tried. That man has him a shitload of hair folicles on his face. So far, one week in, I can tell it is not going to be as thick and lustrous as his, but it should come in quite nicely, nonetheless.

DeChristopher's beard speaks to me. It is a symbol. It represents a bygone era in football when Offensive Linemen were tough as nails and LOOKED the part. Not that they aren't tough now. In fact, today's O-Linemen make the linemen of the 1970's look like linebackers. DeChristopher is the leader of a Hokies O-Line that blocks for the FBS leading rusher, David Wilson. DeChristopher's teammates often talk about the power of The Beard. I believe that Beard also has a lot of wisdom. If it could talk, here are some things it would probably say:

1) "The Hokies are primed to get their rematch with Clemson in the ACC Championship". I agree! Since losing to Clemson at home 23-3 in October, the Hokies have reeled off five consecutive ACC victories, including a 38-35 thriller. The difference has been the play of quarterback Logan Thomas. He has found his rhythm in ACC play. Since he had a bad game against Clemson, he has been playing lights out. He has upped his completion percentage, his accuracy, and he is running the ball more, which is great because no one seems to be able to bring his 6'6, 254lb body down too easily. Most recently, against Georgia Tech (in Atlanta, I might add), he threw for 209 yards, threw 3 TD passes, and rushed for 70 yards and two TDs. The Hokies have two games left, against UNC and UVA. But barring a total collapse, they should get their rematch against Clemson. And the Hokies are pretty good in rematches in the ACC Championship after losing to their opponent in the regular season. Just ask Boston College.

2) "The Redskins are done! Cooked! Finished!" Yeah, pretty much! The problem? No offensive production. The usual story, in other words. Mike Shanahan has now gone back to Rex Grossman at quarterback, since John Beck showed little to no ability to throw the ball downfield. Couple that with a running game that has almost completely stalled since the injury to Tim Hightower, and it's going to be a long remainder of the season for the Skins. And the injuries continue to pile up, the latest being a season-ending hip injury to Wide Receiver Leonard Hankerson, who was starting to show some playmaking ability. And their remaining schedule is pretty brutal, with games against the Cowboys, Jets, Patriots and Giants remaining. I think they will be lucky to win two or more games this season. I don't know what it is going to take to bring this team back to the days when they were consistently good. I think a change in ownership is a good start.

3) "With it becoming clearer and clearer that the Colts will get "The Adrew Luck Pick" in next year's draft, what are the Colts going to do with it?" The simple answer would be "Take Andrew Luck, of course!" But it is not that simple. As I have mentioned before, I don't see Luck wanting to play for the Colts if Peyton Manning fully recovers from his neck injury and picks up where he left off. He still has 4 or 5 good years left. The team that gets Andrew Luck does so with the idea that he will start for them the upcoming season. The Colts seem no closer to winning a game now than they did the beginning of the season. It is conceivable they will pull a Detroit Lions move and go 0-16. So clearly, they are the frontrunners for the Luck pick. But like I said, will Andrew Luck WANT to play for them? Probably not. So when the season ends, ESPN and other sports networks will spend the next four months speculating on what Indianapolis will do with that pick. Most likely they will go ahead and take Andrew Luck with the pick. You would be stupid not to do that. Luck will demand a trade, just like John Elway did to the then Baltimore Colts back in 1983. Yes, history will repeat itself, and another Stanford quarterback will snub the Colts. Indy will then entertain a trade to the highest bidder, which I hope will be the Redskins. Whatever happens, I don't see Andrew Luck donning a Colts jersey.

4) "Having a barn full of zombies seems like a bad idea!" Umm, that was random, but I will go with it, cuz I see where you are going with it, oh great Beard. My wife and I's new favorite show is "The Walking Dead". If you have been living under a rock, the show chronicles the journey of a group of people brought together for survival after a zombie apocalypse. So far, the show is great, with a lot of interesting subplots and characters, and I imagine that the demand for actors to be extras on the show, playing the hordes of zombies, is pretty high. Currently, the main group of characters have been staying on a farm with some other survivors, led by an old geezer named Herschel. I think Herschel's people are some sort of cult, but that remains to be seen. Anyways, at the end of the latest episode, Glenn, one of the main characters and token Asian guy, happens upon a barn full of zombies, presumably purposefully captured by Herschel and his people, for what reason I don't know. This doesn't seem like a smart idea for many reasons. The main reason is that this barn looks old and it is just a matter of time before the zombies and their ravenous appetites for living flesh break out and feast on the inhabitants, both temporary and permanent, of the farm. But my big question is "Where is the show going to take us next?" I am praying that the writers keep the plot relatively streamlined, and that the show doesn't go all "LOST" on us by becoming increasingly convoluted as the show progresses. I kept watching "LOST" not because I wanted to and enjoyed it, but rather because I felt like I had to in hopes that the writers would finally answer the multitude of questions about the complex subplots that seemed to go on and on for six seasons. Of course, most of those questions remained unanswered. Hopefully, that won't happen with "The Walking Dead" because my wife and I thoroughly enjoy it.

So the Beard has spoken! Blake DeChristopher, who looks like an extra from "Braveheart", takes great pride in his mane, as he should. Many a man would kill to have a beard such as his. The beard is wise and loves football, and apparently zombies. So be it! As long as the Beard leads its owner and his teammates to their fifth ACC Championship, all is well!

The Redskins Fall (nay, CRASH!) Back to Earth

I guess I should have seen it coming. After all the Redskins are...well, the Redskins! After an inspiring 3-1 start, the Skins have lost their past three games, the latest loss being to the Buffalo Bills, 23-0. Offensively, they are struggling, which seems to be the same old story every season. Inconsistency at the quarterback position is a major part of that. Rex Grossman threw four picks against the Eagles before being benched in favor of John Beck, who looks like a more athletic Conan O'Brien. Unfortunately, Beck is not the answer either...at least not from what I have seen so far. He struggled to find chemistry with his receivers against Carolina. In the Bills game, he was sacked NINE times. Some of those sacks were the result of indecisiveness on his part and holding onto the ball too long. And n the entire offense is being systematically decimated by injuries. Tim Hightower is out for the season with a torn ACL. Santana Moss is out 5-7 weeks with a hand injury. And key members of the O-line are either out for the season or for the next several weeks. On the defensive side, the Skins are giving up way too many rushing yards and other big plays the past two games, something they did not do in the first four games. So that cautious optimism we Redskins fans had a couple weeks ago has started to give way to the harsh reality that the current version of the Skins resembles those of the recent past.

Before the season, I talked about how the Skins should basically tank this entire season and hopefully get the first pick in next year's draft, thereby allowing them to select Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck, who is overwhelmingly considered to be the next great NFL QB. After the 3-1 start, I began to believe that maybe that wouldn't be necessary. As long as Mike Shanahan had the offense clicking, like in the first four games, maybe they didn't NEED Luck. And the draft should be full of potentially good to great QB prospects, such as Landry Jones (Oklahoma), Robert Griffin III (Baylor) and Brandon Weeden (Oklahoma St.), among others. The Skins will surely be able to draft a decent quarterback next year. However, none of them have the "sure bet" status of Andrew Luck. So it would be great if the Skins could be bad enough to get the No. 1 overall pick. But I think they have already won too many games to do that, seeing as there are still two winless teams in the league, the Colts and Dolphins. In summary, the Skins are so horrible a franchise that they can't even SUCK enough to do what is best for their long-term future.

However, there may still be a chance to get that coveted Andrew Luck pick. The team that is currently in position to have the first pick in the draft is the Indianapolis Colts. They are 0-8, and by far the worst team in the league. Everyone wants to give them a pass for being so bad this year because Peyton Manning is out for likely the entire season recovering from his neck injury. The hope is that Manning will fully recover from it and be back next year with his hands under Jeff Saturday's ass. If the Colts happen to get the first pick in the 2011 Draft, they have quite the dilemma. Before the season, the Colts re-signed Manning to a five-year contract. That means they have made a commitment to Manning, and Manning to the Colts. If Manning is healthy, are they really going to use the number one pick to draft Andrew Luck? As long as Manning can play at the level he is capable of, he will be the man in Indy. Andrew Luck is not the sort of QB you draft with the first pick and then let ride the pine for three or four years. The team that selects Luck is one that desperately needs a quarterback and who would start Luck in his rookie season. A healthy Manning means the Colts would not be that team. However, if it is discovered that due to his neck injury not ever fully healing, and he has to retire, then the Colts would absolutely choose Luck, and be so happy they were horrible in 2011.

So what does all this have to do with the Redskins? Well, let's say for the sake of argument that Peyton Manning's neck is just fine after this season, and Colts' management decide they are not going to draft Andrew Luck because 1) Peyton is their man and 2) Andrew Luck probably wouldn't want to play for a team that already has a franchise quarterback (he doesn't want to be Aaron Rodgers). In that case, I would imagine the Colts would put that number one overall pick up for grabs and give it to the highest bidder. I could see a team like Washington, or Miami, or Seattle saying "Hey Colts! We will give you all of our picks in the draft this year, plus our first round pick next year in exchange for the number one pick". That would be the way to go for the Colts, seeing as they need so much help in other areas (defense, running game). Having all those picks plus their own would help them shore up their team. It would also give the Redskins, Dolphins or Seahawks the franchise quarterback they so desperately need! So by being so bad this year, the Colts have put themselves in a great position, either way. If Manning comes back, they can get so many draft picks to fill the plethora of team needs that have been exposed by Manning's absence this year. If Manning doesn't come back, they use the first pick to draft Luck! So as long as the Colts continue to be the worst team in the league, that No. 1 overall pick is UP FOR GRABS! So here are the five teams not from Indianapolis that would be most likely to trade anything and everything to get their paws on the Andrew Luck Pick:

5) Arizona Cardinals (1-6): There were high hopes in Glendale this year, with the signing of Kevin Kolb, who was supposed to be a stabilizing force at the quarterback position. However, in seven games he has 8 TD passes and 8 interceptions, and is only completing 57 percent of his passes. The Cardinals' management has to decide whether or not Kolb is the future for this team, and he is just having growing pains in his first full season as a starting QB. As a team, the Cardinals rank 21st in total offense, 20th in passing, and 26th in rushing (would be higher if Ryan Williams hadn't gotten injured in the preseason). The question is: What would the Cards have to give up to get the Luck pick? Larry Fitzgerald? Probably too steep a price.

4) Washington Redskins (3-4): And I'm not just picking them because I'm a Redskins fan! The Skins have not had a "franchise" quarterback in forever. In the 22 years I have been watching them, the names at quarterback I have seen include Mark Rypien, Doug Williams, Heath Shuler, Trent Green, Brad Johnson, Jason Campbell, and Mark Brunell, among others. This year, it's the Rex Grossman and John Beck show. Doesn't really inspire much confidence. The Skins are ranked 20th in total offense, and are smack dab in the middle in terms of passing offense. But that ranking will most likely go down as the Skins continue to be unproductive on offense. Andrew Luck would immediately legitimize the Redskins' quarterback position. What the Redskins would have to give up to get Luck? Probably their picks in the upcoming draft and maybe a starter on defense, such as Brian Orakpo. The Colts need an overhaul on defense in general, and would probably want the Skins's best defensive player, which IS Orakpo. As much as I like what Orakpo brings to the table, I like what Luck brings to the QB position even more.

3) Seattle Seahawks (2-5): They still rank near the bottom in most offensive categories. They CANNOT score points. They had a loss against Cleveland in the form of a 6-3 snoozer! Defensively they are not horrible, but could be better. Offensively, other than Sidney Rice, none of the names really stick out. Other than their draft picks, there aren't really any standout players on the Seahawks that the Colts would be just dying to trade the Luck pick for. But, the Seahawks are in that category of teams that desperately need a quarterback. So don't count them out as contenders!

2) Denver Broncos (2-5): Tim Tebow is a dumpster fire wrapped in a train wreck wrapped in some other kind of disaster. Why the Broncos took him in the first round in 2010 is beyond me. Yeah, he is a great guy, I'm certainly not questioning that. But as a quarterback, he is a disaster. He can't read defenses, holds on to the ball too long because of it, and makes too many mistakes. He also has that elongated passing motion that doesn't work in the NFL. The Detroit Lions' defense absolutely spanked Tebow on just about every play this past Sunday! The Broncos have two other quarterbacks in Kyle Orton and Brady Quinn. Both of their contracts expire at the end of this season, and I am sure both want out of Denver. The Broncos are ranked 28th in total offense and 30th in passing offense. Drafting Andrew Luck would get the Denver fans to stop drooling on themselves over Tebow. Denver fans are also used to the idea of a quarterback from Stanford coming in and taking them to the Promised Land that is the Super Bowl. What can the Broncos offer in a trade to Indy? Other than their entire 2012 draft, not a whole lot. Maybe Knowshawn Moreno. Maybe a couple of average defenders. An aging Champ Bailey? Nah. The Broncos are definitely worthy of getting the Andrew Luck pick. However, QB is not their only issue.

1) Miami Dolphins (0-7): Yep! Still the most deserving team. Like I have said before, Offensively, the Dolphins have some pretty good players. What they lack is a legit quarterback to get those players the ball. Defensively, they need some help, as they are ranked in the bottom half of the league in most defensive categories. But there will be a new coach in town next year, as Tony Sparano (who looks like a guy who should be wearing a velvet jogging suit into an Atlantic City casino) will be fired at the end of the season, if not before then. Bill Cowher's name keeps getting thrown around as a possible candiate for their next head coach. Whoever is the next coach would relish in the idea of having that Andrew Luck pick. What would the Colts want in trade? Probably the one player the Dolphins wouldn't want to give up, that being Jake Long, the right tackle, who protects the QB's blind side. But still, the Dolphins would probably still pull the trigger on that trade if it means having their first franchise quarterback since Dan Marino retired.

With Apologies to Mike Shanahan...like he cares!

A couple months ago, I blogged about how I figured the Redskins would be horrible this year, and because of that, they should pretty much tank the whole season and win what has now become known as the "Suck for Luck" competition, wherein bad NFL teams vie for the worst record at season's end in order to get the first pick in the 2012 NFL Draft, aka, the Andrew Luck pick.

Well, four weeks into the season, the Redskins are 3-1 going into their bye week. The offense is doing pretty well, and the defense is much improved from last year, thanks in part to the outstanding rookie Ryan Kerrigan. Between Kerrigan and Roy Helu, I think this past draft was one of the best draft the Skins have had in several years. I am cautiously optimistic that the Skins could go to the playoffs, maybe even win the division. Whatever happens, they are pretty much out of the race for the Andrew Luck pick. So I figured I would list the "top five" teams that deserve the Andrew Luck pick, in descending order:

5) Minnesota Vikings (0-4): Minnesota is ranked 31st in passing offense, and 3rd in rushing offense. Clear to say where their problems lie! McNabb is pretty much doing what he did in Washington: screwing the Vikings organization. The Vikes have weapons: Percy Harvin and Adrian Peterson. The O-line needs improvement, but not a complete overhaul. I would rank the Vikings higher, except they drafted Christian Ponder with the 12th overall pick this year. So they have an investment in him. They should probably give him some playing time to see if he has what it takes to be a franchise quarterback for them. If so, stick with him. But if they have doubts, and they have that first pick, go for Luck.

4) Indianapolis Colts (0-4): Why not? Peyton Manning is 34, 35? He isn't playing this year due to nerve regeneration issues in his neck. Why not draft Andrew Luck and let him be mentored by Manning for a couple of years before he retires and then take over? Manning is a consummate team player, and Luck knows him from the Manning Passing Academy. It would be a good relationship, unlike the Brett Favre-Aaron Rodgers fiasco several years back. Plus, there is no guarantee that Manning's neck will heal enough for him to play football again, or at least not at the level to which he is accustomed. Why not plan for the future and draft Andrew Luck now?

3) Seattle Seahawks (1-3): The Seahawks are a horrendous offensive team. They are ranked 28th in passing offense, 31st in rushing, and dead last in total offense. They are overpaying for two non-productive quarterbacks in Tavaris Jackson and Charlie Whitehurst. Other than Sidney Rice, they don't have too many offensive weapons. Their O-line is porous. It's going to be a long season for the Hawks. Drafting Andrew Luck would be a great step in the right direction. But would good will that do if he is getting pummeled by the defense every other down. Plus, I don't think Pete Carroll is a good fit as an NFL coach. He is too laid back. He should go back to college. So the Seahawks need to do a complete overhaul so Luck can be the Seattle Saviour.

2) Kansas City Chiefs (1-3): The Chiefs are ranked 30th in passing offense, but are in the middle of the pack in terms of rushing offense. Matt Cassel has not been effective at QB this year so far. ESPN has speculated that the only reason Cassel had a great season is because of then offensive coordinator Charlie Weis, who comes from the Bill Belichick tree of coaching. So Cassel is a "system" quarterback. Clearly, the Chiefs have had a big letdown from last season. They have also been plagued by injuries to Jamaal Charles, their prolific running back, and other offensive weapons. If their playmakers are healthy next year, wouldn't it be great to have a quarterback who is intelligent, and already plays in a pro-style offense, such as Andrew Luck? He would have to adjust to the brutal Kansas City winters, though.

1) Miami Dolphins (0-4): Let's face it. Tony Sporano is out as head coach at the end of the season, if not sooner. The Dolphins are chock full of offensive weapons, though. Brandon Marshall, Reggie Bush, and Anthony Fasano are all reliable targets. The o-line is pretty good. The problem? The Dolphins haven't had a franchise quarterback since Dan Marino! Chad Henne is now going to have season-ending shoulder surgery. But was he really the long-term answer at QB anyways, for a passing offense ranked 30th in the league? Probably not. Think of it this way: Next year, the 'phins will have a new coach, so why not have a new quarterback. Plus, living in Miami is every 22 year old's wet dream! The beautiful women, the beaches, and did I mention the beautiful women? Andrew Luck would bring fans to the stadium, and make them forget about the "Dream Team" across the way. Of the five teams, the Dolphins are the team that most desperately needs a quarterback! I know my friend Scott (a Dolphins fan) is creaming his pants right now.

Are you ready for the Redskins to suck? I am too!

Hey everybody. Yeah, I know it has been a LONG time since I posted anything. I refused to write anything about the NFL Lockout, primarily because most of that went over my head, other than the fact that both the owners and the players wanted more money. I couldn't write anything about the Washington Nationals because Rob Dibble is no longer their color commentator. Dibble is actually worth having his own blog due to his neverending antics. But now the lockout is over, and NFL teams are back in training camp in preparation for the upcoming season. Every team is hoping this will be the year they make it to the playoffs and win the Super Bowl. Every team and player has high aspirations, at least higher than last season. In the free agent signing frenzy that has occurred since the end of the lockout, it has been interesting to watch SportsCenter to see what big name players different teams have signed. I keep waiting for my team, the Washington Redskins, to make a big splash in free agency, like they do every year. Those splashes often end up in overpaying overhyped players with a 7-year/$100 million contract, but they always make a splash. Except for this year.

As I look at the names of the players the Skins have picked up in free agency, I am completely underwhelmed to say the least. Tim Hightower, who couldn't run the ball in Arizona. Jabar Gaffney? A wide receiver who never did much in his early years and is now past his prime? The only good thing it looks like the Redskins have done so far is get rid of Albert Haynesworth. None of their other moves this offseason inspire any confidence that they will be competitive this year. I was listening to Colin Cowherd this morning on the way to work. He was going through each division and predicting what each team's final record would be. He predicts the Redskins will go 2-14 this season. You know what? I hope they do!




I know I am running the risk of being labled as one of those fans who hopes their favorite team tanks the season so said team can get the first pick in the following year's draft. Normally, I would not wish for the Redskins to have another losing season. I always hope that they will win more than they lose, and maybe even make the playoffs. But if the Redskins start out slow out of the gate, like go 0-8 the first half of the season, I am not going to hope they go 8-0 the second half. The reason? Andrew Luck. If you don't know who Andrew Luck is, he is the starting quarterback at Stanford University. He is also the most talked about prospect for the 2012 NFL Draft. Barring total disaster at Stanford, Luck will be picked No. 1 overall in the draft because he is probably the most pro-ready quarterback since the likes of Peyton Manning or Dan Marino. Stanford runs a pro-style offense, and their playbook rivals some of the ones in the NFL. Luck can make all the throws, is fairly mobile, and is tough as nails. He also has the intangibles, like leadership skills, book smarts, and a calm demeanor. He will most likely be successful in the NFL, when he gets there. He could have been a Carolina Panther this year. However, he decided to stay in school. That leaves the door open for the worst team in the NFL this season to pick him in next year's draft.

Based on their lack of quality signings of free agents in this offseason, the Redskins seem poised to be one of the worst, if not the worst, teams in the NFL this season. As my friend Keith would say, they are a dumpster fire from top to bottom. They are going to rely on John Beck, or Rex Grossman, to quarterback the offense this season. THAT is sad. They have no running backs that inspire any confidence in the ability to run the ball. PATHETIC. Their defensive backfield is porous. The offensive line is still a work in progress. The wide receiver corp is aging. Their best offensive player is Chris Cooley. In summary, they will be a bad team.

No, getting Andrew Luck will not solve all of their problems. Like any rookie quarterback, the Skins will have to make some great moves next year in the offseason. They will need to get a running back that can actually help, or hope that Roy Helu or one of the other rookie RBs pans out. They will need a couple of goo wide receivers. And the offensive line will need to continue to improve to give Luck any chance of helping to rebuild the team. But I may be talking out of turn. Leave it to the Redskins to screw up tanking the season. Watch them win 5 or six games and wind up having the 5th pick in the draft. But a man can hope, right?

Ready for Spring!

Yeah, I know. It has been forever since I have made an entry on my blog. I told you all at the outset that this blog was going to be a half-assed effort on my part. So I have not disappointed. I guess to be considered a serious blogger, you have to write something everyday, which I have neither the time or energy/desire to do. Whether it's because I am at work, or just chilling out at home with Brianne, I have things in my life that rank much higher on my priority list than religiously maintaining a blog that like two or three people read (Hey, sis!).

To quickly catch everyone up, the following is a list of things that have happened since December 9th, the date of my last entry:

1) Christmas: Got a lot of nice things, such as new golf shoes, some movies and the new Helmet CD. It sounds pretty good, but not their best effort, and they do a Beatles' cover, and I am not a Beatles fan.

2) Went up to Haymarket and saw Roman, Irina and their new baby Ayden. Had an awesome time!

3) Got way too drunk for my own good on New Year's Eve. After 12 beers, and too many jello shooters to remember later, I was, as I posted on Facebook that night, "drunker than Jimmy McNulty from that one episode of THE WIRE where he crashed his car twice, wound up at some diner, and then wound up banging the 20-year old waitress that was serving him."

4) Watched the Hokies get dismantled at the hands of the Stanford Cardinal. The ACC BCS Bowl futility continues. Plus, the Hokies' top two running backs have declared for the NFL Draft. Uncertainty about next season is at a high level.

5) Watched the Redskins finish up another losing season. And now, both Mel Kiper and Todd McShay are projecting the Skins will pick Cam Newton with their first pick. The last Auburn quarterback they drafted didn't work out, so I hope they don't pick Newton.

6) Celebrated Brianne's birthday this past weekend, with her family and two of our friends. We went to dinner and then went bowling.

I am sure I left some things out. Looking forward, I am ready for spring to get here ASAP. Now that football season is pretty much over, I am ready for warmer weather. Warmer weather means I can break out the golf clubs and hit the links. And with the gift certificate to my local course I got from my sister, I will be playing some rounds for free! But I am so done with winter. I had to drive home in the snow yesterday and my car damn near slid off the road...THRICE! (Here's looking at you, Conan O"Brien). Brianne and I are hoping to take a trip to Pigeon Forge this spring as well because we haven't taken a vacation in some time. So we have plans for warmer weather!

Orange You Glad the Hokies Didn't Go Undefeated?

From where I'm sitting, it's probably a good thing my beloved Virginia Tech Hokies dashed their own National Title hopes the first week or so of the season. When they lost the opener to Boise State, in heartbreaking fashion, their title hopes were pretty much over. When they followed that loss up with an embarrassing defeat at the hands of FCS foe James Madison five days later, that sealed the deal. I was like "Well, there's always next year!" It could be easy for me to say they shoulda beaten Boise St. or they shouldn't have lost to JMU. But now, at the end of the College Football regular season, I am glad as hell that the Hokies did not go undefeated. I am happy as a clam that they finished the season 11-2, with an 11-game winning streak.

People may wonder "Scott, why would you ever wish for your favorite team in all of sports to lose any games?" Well, it's not like I WANTED them to lose a game or two, especially as the game is going on. What kind of fan would I be if that were the case. But what I am talking about has to do with the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) rankings, you know that computer system that determines who will go to the National Championship game. I look at it this way: If the only thing that was different this season was Virginia Tech would go 13-0, they still would not have gone to the National Title game. This is because Auburn and Oregon both went undefeated. At best, at the end of the season, the Hokies would have been ranked #3 in the BCS rankings if they went undefeated. Auburn and Oregon would still be 1 and 2, respectively. Auburn and Oregon would be going to the big dance together, and Virginia Tech would be left at home, with nothing to show for an unblemished record. That would piss me, and probably every other dieheard Hokie fan, off way more than losing to JMU. We would have been like, well, Auburn, in 2004, when they went 13-0 and still didn't get a chance to go to the National Championship game because of their #3 BCS ranking.

I know myself. If Tech had gone 13-0, I would not be able to live it down for a long time, knowing that they did their part to put themselves in a position to go for their first National Title, but thanks to some computer geeks computer program, they didn't get the chance. Brianne, my wife, would get tired of hearing about it, and would eventually divorce me, and because she is more intelligent than me, she would get the house. I would be homeless, living in my car, with my VT Fanatic mascot stuck to my rear window. I would lose my job because I would realize "Hey, I could just sleep there every night". When they realize I was staying there rent free, they would fire me. I would then turn to heroin use as a way of coping with life's disappointments, and eventually start prostituting myself to much older women. I would get arrested for doing so, and my parents would have to fly out from Colorado to bail me out, and on the flight back to Colorado, I would have to listen to my mom criticize me for my behavior, as well as for other things completely unrelated to my recent endeavors.

Okay, I probably took that a bit too far. But needless to say, I am very happy with what actually did transpire for the Hokies this season. The fact that they started 0-2 and still had the drive and determination to persevere gives me great hope for the future of this team. After the JMU loss, there was a players-only meeting that changed the tone of the entire season. Three months later, the Hokies are 11-2, ACC Champions for the fourth time since 2004, and headed to the Orange Bowl to face a talented Stanford team. No matter what happens in that game, this season has been one of the more exciting campaigns for the Hokies. Though the defense struggled at times, they got better each game, and they have some guys there that will make the defense even better next season. The only concern I have is the quarterback situation for next year. Tyrod Taylor graduates this year, and Logan Thomas will most likely be the starting QB next season. Though he probably won't need to pass much, due to the presence of three outstanding running backs, it will be his first season under center, and it will take him some time to develop in the position.

So, to my fellow Hokie fans/alumni, be happy the season went the way it did. The Hokies are the best two-loss team in the country, and going to the Orange Bowl is a great reward for this remarkable season. It's much better to be 11-2 and going to the Orange Bowl and being happy about it, than to be 13-0 and begrudgingly going to the Orange Bowl, and being pissed off that you are playing at the wrong game. GO HOKIES!!

No, I haven't blogged in forever, and don't call me Shirley!

It figures that it would take the death of someone whom I idolized as a child (and an adult) to get me to post a new blog entry. The death of actor Leslie Nielsen has hit me pretty hard. I find myself thinking about his movies and comedic roles often these past few days. His is a story of two acting lives. First, in the 50's, 60's and 70's, he was almost exclusively a dramatic actor, taking on serious roles, such as in "Forbidden Planet" and "The Poseidon Adventure". However, he had always wanted to do comedy, and in 1980, the Zucker brothers and Jim Abraham gave him the opportunity to do so in "Airplane!", which is one of the funniest movies ever. His role as Dr. Rumack is priceless and he had some LMAO dialogue that still gets laughs to this day. For instance:

Dr. Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.

Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley!

One-liners like that are just brilliant in their simplicity.

But before I had seen Airplane, I fell in love with The Naked Gun movies. His portrayal of bumbling policeman Frank Drebin remains one of the seminal comedic roles in film to this day. In addition to great one-liners, Nielsen added the element of physical comedy in the Naked Gun series. The best example of this is what I call his "pillow self-smothering". In this, a bad guy would throw a pillow or a towel at Drebin's face and he would act like the pillow had attached itself to his face and is suffocating him. However, it was really just him holding the pillow to his face. He would expel muffled screams into the pillow, adding to the comedic effect. Again, silly, but brilliant in simplicity.

After the Naked Gun movies, he continued to do other movies, such as Spy Hard, the last two installments of Scary Movie, and a Mel Brooks Dracula spoof that, from what I remember, wasn't very good. But he still had great comedic dialogue in some of these movies. For instance, in Spy Hard, he has a scene where he is undercover as a doctor in an ER and has the following exchange with a nurse in regards to a patient:

Nurse: ICU, Doctor?
Nielsen: And I see you! You're doing a fine job!

Needless to say, I am going to miss Leslie Nielsen. He played a great part in the development of my sometimes offbeat and goofy sense of humor. If I was having a bad day, and happened to catch some of his work on TV, I would be instantly cheered up. That still rings true today. Though I am saddened by the death of one of the better comedic actors in recent history, I take comfort in knowing that Heaven just became a funnier place. Rest in Peace, Mr. Nielsen, and watch out for flying pillows!