When "Eventually" Became "Now".

I am sitting in my office at work (and by "my" office, I mean the office I share with my co-workers Amanda and Heather, and an intern named Janet who looks like a 50 year old version of a girl I knew in college). Tonight is eerily quiet, though I keep waiting for the pager to go off. Jackie (my other co-worker who works the same shift as I) could certainly use the break after yesterday's "crisis fest".

I spent some of this evening reading Chuck Klosterman's book "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs", wherein I discovered that cold cereal was invented to stifle the rampant libidos of 19th Century Victorians. But I continued to be distracted by the fact that, at the current time, my wife Brianne and I do not have air conditioning in our home. This is due to the fact that our current Ducane unit decided to die on us on Tuesday. I remember when we had our home inspection prior to closing on our house last July, and the inspector and I going to the back of the house to inspect the unit, because at the time of the inspection, it was not cooling at all. Apparently, the homeowners at that time did not really use AC like normal Americans, and didn't realize there was something wrong. Obviously, Brianne and I required the owner's to have that fixed. What it seems happened is that the HVAC company that came in and fixed it did a "quick fix" by installing a hard start on the unit and replacing the capacitor. What our HVAC guy, Donnie, informed us of is that the unit we have is too small for our house. It is a two-ton unit, and we need a three-ton, based on our square footage. So on top of it being a cheaply made unit, manufactured by a Ducane company in South Carolina I had never heard of, the unit itself was working way to hard to cool and heat the house.

During the inspection, I took one look at that unit, and immediately made an internal bet with myself: Which will occur first? This AC unit will break down and I will have to replace it? Or Michael Vick getting in trouble again? Ironically, the two events happened almost simultaneously. Yesterday, I not only found out I was going to have to spend $3000+ on a new unit, but I also found out that most likely, Michael Vick, at his 30th Birthday party, ordered one of his homies to pop a cap in the ass of one of his former co-conspirators in the dogfighting ring who showed up to the party uninvited. Michael Vick is a dumpster fire in a way Charlie Sheen can only aspire to be. I mean, this idiot hasn't learned a damn thing about how to behave himself in a manner commensurate with the expectations placed on NFL players by Commissioner Roger Gooddell. He has given Virginia Tech a bad name, and I think it's time for the University to cut ties with him. But I digress.

So Brianne and I are spending the next couple of days in our hot house. It is worse for Brianne because at least I leave in the late morning before it gets too hot and come back after Midnight when it has cooled back down. This weekend we will stay with her parents. On Monday, Donnie will return with our new York unit, and our lives will be whole again.

BTW, the pager did go off while I was typing this post. Luckily, it wasn't anything Jackie or I have to go out for.