New Math Metal Band: The Rob Dibble Travesty

Last night was a big letdown--of sorts. I thought for a few moments there that the Hokies weren't even going to put up a fight. That first quarter was abysmal. So many mistakes, and a porous defense. I am glad they came alive in the second and third quarters, but only to go silent again in the fourth. Overall, it was a disappointing loss for the Hokies, as it certainly puts National Title hopes in jeopardy. But Tyrod Taylor was amazing! I hope he can play like that all season, because if the running game gets going with Evans and Williams, that will be a three-pronged attack that few will be able to contain. The defense is clearly a work in progress, however, and the kicking game is even more of a liability. I don't think Hazley is the answer for field goals.

Overall, I took comfort in knowing VT could hang with Boise State until the end, and we showed flashes of greatness that could be. But consistency will be the key if we want to come out on top of the ACC. Depending on what happens with other National Title contenders, Tech could still have a shot at going to the Championship game. But no more losses, and other dominos have to fall. For instance, if you are a Hokie fan, you are also a Florida State and Miami fan for this weekend only, because they play Oklahoma and Ohio State, respectively. The more loses Oklahoma and OSU have, the better chance VT has of being considered a contender. So there is some hope!

In other news, Rob Dibble got fired as color commentator for the Washington Nationals. Dibble has always been a controversial choice as commentator for Nats games, due to some of the things he said during games. For instance, he was fascinated by two women sitting behind the dugout who appeared to be talking the whole game. He made a sexist comment about how they were probably talking about where the best clothing sales were going to be the next day. He focused on these women for several innings and continued to make sexist comments. The emails came flying in and Bob Carpenter, the lead commentator, kept trying to get Dibble to tone it down. I didn't watch this particular game on TV, but I would imagine Dibble had been drinking. That has been my running joke with my friend Keith, that Rob Dibble is a raging alcoholic, which is why he makes such stupid comments. And the worse the Nats are playing, the more Dibble drinks. But the straw that broke the camel's back was when he basically called Stephen Strasburg a cry baby because he injured his arm in a late August game. Later it was discovered that he tore the ligament in his elbow, which will require Tommy John surgery, the recovery from which takes 12-18months. I am now starting to think the Nationals will become a cursed team, starting with their star pitcher being out for the rest of this season and all of next season. Anyways, Dibble being fired gets mixed reviews from me. On one hand, I enjoyed making fun of his idiotic comments, his trying to quote lines from Adam Sandler movies, and his alleged drunken rants on how umpires don't call strikes as much as they use to "back in the day when I was pitching." Ironically, however, it was his idiocy that did Dibble in, and cost him his job.

Rob Dibble's demise kinda symbolizes D.C. sports in general: either a travesty already or one waiting to happen. The Wizards have not been relevant for years, at least not since I moved to VA in 1988. The Nationals are struggling to sell tickets and I wouldn't be surprised if the team moves in the next several years, because D.C. is not a baseball town. The Capitals have been good for a few years, but can't do anything in the playoffs. And the Redskins, well, they're the Redskins. Though I am fully confident the Skins will win more than four games thise year, I still have a sneaking suspicion they will be mediocre at best. Whether it's the aging backfield, the new offensive line, or the lack of good wide receivers (other than Santana Moss), this team does not feel like a playoff team to me. Donovan McNabb is a great QB, but who does he have to throw to other than Moss and my man Chris Cooley? One thing Coach Mike Shanahan will have to do is fix all the fuck ups the previous regime made. He has done that. The atmosphere around the team is more positive, and Shanny isn't taking any shit from players, whether they have a $600,000contract or a $100 Million contract. Looks like Albert Haynesworth may be traded back to the Titans, in a "Return to Sender" type scenario. And thank God! He is a cancer, no matter how much talent he may have.

I hope the future of D.C. Sports is bright, although I could care less about the aforementioned Wizards (I'm actually a Bobcats fan). I would love to see the Skins win another Super Bowl, for the Nats become contenders, and for the Capitals to hoist the Stanley Cup. Maybe in time, all of that will happen. But that is not my immediate concern. I now have to figure out what I'm going to do now that I can't make "Rob Dibble is an Alcoholic and idiot" jokes!

Frayed Nerves

I'm a nervous wreck right now. I am on-call for work today, and sitting in my office, and I am just a bundle of nerves. Though the College Football season started this past Thursday, and has gone on through the weekend, the only game I give a shit about is tonight. I have had this date in my mind for the past several months, since I found out the Virginia Tech-Boise State game was being moved from October to the first game of the season.

In a way, I hate it when the Hokies play a tough opponent for their first game. With a new season comes a new set of questions about how good or not good this version of the Hokies will be. I know going into tonight that the offense is solid! Tyrod is a senior, the wide receivers are in their third year, and they have a hellacious 1-2 punch at Tailback with Ryan Williams and Darren Evans, both 1000-yard rushers. The unknown quantities with the 2010 Hokies is the defense, which had to replace 7 starters, and the kicking game. So I hate going into a game against a tough opponent such as BSU not knowing what the Hokies will look like. At least if you have a few games against lesser opponents, the offense and defense have the opportunity to get in sync. But this is the first game, and they are playing a Boise team that returns a total of 21 starters from last year. That team went 14-0 last season, and they are one year more experienced. So I have been sitting here thinking about what it will take for VT to beat the Broncos. I figure it has to start with the running game. Ram the ball down Boise's throat to keep their high-powered offense off the field. And then pray that the defense can figure out Kellen Moore and the rest of the Boise offense pretty quickly. I have faith in Bud Foster's ability to get his guys prepared. But most of our defense is inexperienced. Damn I'm nervous.

And Pessimistic! Why? Maybe it's because VT is 0-21 against Top-5 ranked opponents away from Blacksburg. This game is at FedEx Field in Landover, MD. Essentially a home game, probably 90% of the fans will be rooting for VT. But that was the case several years ago when VT lost to USC at FedEx Field. So I am just going to say this:

It's time, Hokies! It's time you grab the respect you and your coach so well deserve. That national recognition that seems so fleeting. ACC Championships and Orange Bowl wins are great. But you know that case we have for our National Championship Crystal Ball? It's still empty! That means you have to play like you are possessed tonight, and for the whole season. God knows, all of our tough ACC games are on the road this year, for the most part. Miami is much improved, as is Florida State. It's not going to be easy. But beating Boise State tonight would go a long way to building the confidence needed to believe that no one can beat you!

So here's me cheering my VT Hokies on! Have a great game! I know I will have no fingernails left when all is said and done! I need a drink.

Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready!

Apparently, upper class families in Alaska cannot afford birth control. I read online about how Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, broke of her engagement (again) to wannabe hockey player Levi Johnston. According to the story, Levi, who is the father of Bristol's child, has impregnated another young woman, and this triggered the demise of their engagement, on the same day it was rekindled. I don't give a shit about this story AT ALL. I am not sure how it made it to cbsnews.com, and frankly, I don't care. I am sure it has something to do with Bristol's now barely-relevant mother. But the story of a girl being pissed at her ex-boyfriend/father of her child because he got some other girl pregnant is hardly newsworthy. Their's is a story that plays out in every corner of the country. Therefore, devoting an entire article to one instance of this very common phenomenon seems like a waste of resources.

By stark contrast, I am VERY interested in anything relating to the upcoming football seasons, college and professional. August is one of my favorite month, if only because NFL training camps commence and college football programs begin their fall practices. I get to evaluate the talent on the Virginia Tech roster and develop high hopes for the Hokies in the upcoming season. On the other hand, I get to watch daily reports about how Albert Haynesworth cannot seem to pass the Redskins' conditioning test. This story would be completely comical if it weren't for the fact that this is a player in which the Skins invested $100 million over the next 7 years. He has already been paid $32 Million of that money, and for doing nothing but being a constant pain in the ass of everyone in the Redskins Organization. He has done nothing but bitch and complain about how playing Nose Tackle in Defensive Coordinator Jim Haslett's 3-4 defense because it doesn't cater to his skill set. Damn, Albert, for $100 million, wouldn't you say you should be making the adjustments your employer is asking of you? Just a thought.

But the main reason I know the NFL season is upon us is the now traditional Annual Brett Favre "Will he or won't he retire?" saga. I love Brett Favre as a player. His grittiness and brazen approach to the quarterback position is something I respect greatly. But his constant retiring and unretiring is getting, well, tiring!

My expectations for the Redskins this year are not high, like they EVER really are. Having a new coaching staff in place means needing at least one season to adjust to new offensive and defensive systems, new terminology, and development of team chemistry. Is Donovan McNabb the QB who will take the Skins to the Super Bowl? I am not fully convinced that he is, mostly because he has not been able to play a full season for the past six years due to injury. I think skillwise, he still has the talent to lead a team deep into the playoffs. But his durability has always been his Achilles' Heel. The Skins are also relying on a trio of aging tailbacks to produce in the running game: Clinton Portis, Larry Johnson, and Willie Parker, all of whom are at least 30 years old. All in all, I am not expecting a whole lot from the Redskins this year.

On the other hand, I am very optimistic about the Hokies. They are absolutely loaded on offense this year. This starts with their running game. When you have Ryan Williams as your starting running back, you are in great shape. The kid ran for over 1,600 yards last season. Backing him up is the 2008 starter, Darren Evans, who rushed for 1,200 yards that season. He would have been the starter last year, but had a season ending ACL injury. He has looked great in practice. So the running game is solid with those two in the backfiel, not to mention David Wilson and Josh Oglesby, who are pretty good runners themselves. The O-line is much more athletic than last year. The wide receiving corp are all Juniors now, and will only continue to improve. The only question about the Hokies this season will be how effectively they can replace all the starters they lost on defense. But with Bud Foster as the Defensive Coordinator, I wouldn't worry too much. Plus, if the offense can run the clock down with their powerful running attack, the defense may not have to be on the field a whole lot. Any questions about the Hokies will be answered the first game of the season when they host Boise State on Labor Day.

Football season is by far my favorite time of the year, although I doubt my wife would say the same thing on her own behalf. I am hopeful that I will be able to go to at least one Hokies game this year, in Blacksburg. Not only does football season excite me because of the game itself, but it also symbolizes the commencement of Autumn, my favorite season. At this point, I am sick of hot weather. 90 degree days with high humidity are fun no longer. I am ready for October, when the temps drop to the 60's and you can golf without constantly having to mop the sweat of your brow. So yes, I am ready for some football!

"You're wearing the shirt for the band you are going to see? Don't be that guy!"

Blogging is quickly becoming my favorite "downtime at work" pasttime. And to avoid the Internet police, I usually write up my blog on Microsoft Word and paste it into the blog. Although, I am not sure if the agency really looks at internet use outside of normal business hours. I mean, it's 9:40pm, for goodness sakes. They gotta figure we have SOME downtime on this shift.

So I was perusing the internet briefly to find out information about the Acacia Strain, a metal band whose new album I am interested in purchasing at some point. I am doing this primarily because I am trying to calm down after the case I just dealt with at the Lynchburg General ER (I will get to that in a moment). Apparently, the Acacia Strain is not allowed to play anymore gigs at the House of Blues in Orlando, Florida. The reason for this is because there was a brawl during the concert, but not during Acacia's set. However, the proprietors of the club identified that several brawl participants had Acacia Strain shirts on.

I have two problems with this. First, why punish the Acacia Strain when the brawl didn't even occur during their set. Second, why were the Acacia Strain fans blatantly engaging in the most cardinal sin of concertgoing, that being "Don't ever wear a t-shirt for the band you are going to see!". So now I'm thinking that House of Blues, Orlando has banned the Acacia Strain because of their dorky, Acacia Strain shirt-wearing fans, not because of some brawl. It is a well known fact that when you go to a metal concert, you wear a shirt from a band that is not performing at that concert. If you don't have any metal shirts, then you wear a camoflage t-shirt, black jeans and white high tops like this idiot Roman and I saw at an Obituary concert once. The dude looked like Cha-Chi, and he started hitting on the wife of Obituary's bassist Frank Watkins, who promptly stared Cha-Chi down and gave him the throat slash gesture.

So back to that ECO case I worked at the ER. I like to believe that there are no bad cases in crisis work, and by bad I mean "wastes of my time". 99.9% of the case I see are at least rooted in some valid concerns by family, friends or other CSB staff. However, tonight's case was a waste of time and resources. I can't go into all the details due to confidentiality of course. But suffice it to say, the case had me scratching my head as to how the Magistrate in Appomattox County even decided there was enough evidence to issue an ECO. The client and his wife have a marriage that has long since been dead. I think the wife made up a whole bunch of stuff to get the client ECO'd and subsequently evaluated by mental health. And this gentleman I was evaluating was completely flabbergasted about what happened. The more information I obtained from him, as well as his daughter, the more I realized that his wife had gotten an ECO under false pretenses. I felt sorry for the man after that, but moreover, I was pretty livid inside.

The reason I was so angry was because this woman wasted a lot of time and resources with her little escapade. First, she wasted the magistrate's time. Then, she wasted time and resources of the Appomattox Sheriff's Department, who had to use one of their few on-duty deputies to transport the client to the ER for assessment. Third, she wasted time and resources of the ER staff, by taking up an ER bay with an "ECO for spite" case. Finally, she wasted my time because I still had to do all of the same paperwork I would do for a legitimate case.

Needless to say, I have had to process this incident in my head. I feel better now, but my drive back to the office consisted of me ruminating over it in my head. I can rest easy tonight and contemplate going to an Acacia Strain concert at some point in time. Unfortunately, it won't be on Mickey Mouse's turf.

REAGAN!! REAGAN!!

That's what I was screaming at the television today. While our new Air Conditioning unit was being installed by my brother-in-law's HVAC Technician friend Aaron, I was watching episodes of JEOPARDY I had recorded on DVR. I watch that show religiously and my work schedule does not allow me to watch it during its normal timeslot. This week is "Kids Week" on the show. So I get to feel a lot smarter watching Jeopardy than normal because the questions are catered to 10-12 year olds. But on one of the episodes, the one from Tuesday, the kids really upset me!

I forget the category now, but the clue asked the contestants to identify who the U.S. President was that was shown in a picture wherein he is shaking hands with a Chinese politician. Looking at the picture, I clearly identified that President as Ronald Reagan. I THOUGHT the kids would all know this as well. However, I was sorely disappointed, and later, a bit depressed. First off, none of the three kids knew who the President was. What made it worse is that they went ahead and took a stab at it anyways. One kid said "Who is Nixon?". Nope! Another kid said "Who is JFK?". What the heck? When Alex Trebek informed these youngins of the correct answer, he had this dispondent look on his face. I agree, Alex. I thought they should have known that too!

The reason I felt a bit depressed later on is because I am now starting to feel a bit old. God, I am only 33, but I feel like such a lamer. I find myself talk about what kind of crap passes off as music these days, and how can today's kids listen to that junk? I reminisce about "good" music, like Alice in Chains, Nirvana, and old-school Nine Inch Nails, and how today's bands can't hold a candle to those legendary artists. I mean, there is a whole generation of 16 year olds who never saw Kurt Cobain alive. And now, these same kids apparently have no idea who the hell Ronald Reagan was. Love him or hate him, he was one of the more iconic Presidents we have had. And these young Jeopardy contestants took a (failed) stab at it!

I know I am not a young, idealistic 17 year old boy anymore. The gradual disappearance of hair on top of my head is certainly evidence of that. But when I start talking about how I can't believe these kids today don't know who Reagan is, or how I can't stand the music today's kids listen to, I start coming to the realization that I am showing my age a bit. What's worse, I am starting to sound like my parents. They bashed my music and talked about how Elvis and the Beatles kick my music's ass. And I would just laugh at them because there was no way Elvis is better than Alice in Chains.

Let's face it! If you are currently in your 30's, you were primarily brought up in the 80's and 90's. The world has changed immensely since those decades. We didn't have the Internet, iPods, or cell phones when I was in high school. Life was simpler. We didn't have to worry about kids getting in trouble for sexting, we didn't have Emo (we had Goth, but not Emo). We knew how to use a pay phone, and in some cases, a rotary phone. With everything going on in American schools these days, I am almost scared to send my own kids to public schools. School violence continues to be a growing epidemic, kids having sex at younger and younger ages. And it all starts at home!

Here is my plea to all the parents out there who are raising young kids. Do right by your kids. Today's parents are my peers, and we were all raised with Mr. Rogers telling us "You're Special!" This gave my generation a sense of entitlement, and therefore, when my generation becomes parents, they are more lax when it comes to raising their kids. They let their kids get away with a hell of a lot more than my parents let me get away with. Though people from my generation may be starting to feel old, we still have a lot of growing up to do! Our kids depend on it. We have to have the right balance between letting our children grow up to be unique individuals and dishing out proper discipline when necessary. We need to emphasize the importance of the past with our children, if only to help them learn from the mistakes of the past so as not to repeat them. Overall, we have to arm our kids with the knowledge they need to be successful in life. And we can start by making sure they know who Ronald Reagan is!

When "Eventually" Became "Now".

I am sitting in my office at work (and by "my" office, I mean the office I share with my co-workers Amanda and Heather, and an intern named Janet who looks like a 50 year old version of a girl I knew in college). Tonight is eerily quiet, though I keep waiting for the pager to go off. Jackie (my other co-worker who works the same shift as I) could certainly use the break after yesterday's "crisis fest".

I spent some of this evening reading Chuck Klosterman's book "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs", wherein I discovered that cold cereal was invented to stifle the rampant libidos of 19th Century Victorians. But I continued to be distracted by the fact that, at the current time, my wife Brianne and I do not have air conditioning in our home. This is due to the fact that our current Ducane unit decided to die on us on Tuesday. I remember when we had our home inspection prior to closing on our house last July, and the inspector and I going to the back of the house to inspect the unit, because at the time of the inspection, it was not cooling at all. Apparently, the homeowners at that time did not really use AC like normal Americans, and didn't realize there was something wrong. Obviously, Brianne and I required the owner's to have that fixed. What it seems happened is that the HVAC company that came in and fixed it did a "quick fix" by installing a hard start on the unit and replacing the capacitor. What our HVAC guy, Donnie, informed us of is that the unit we have is too small for our house. It is a two-ton unit, and we need a three-ton, based on our square footage. So on top of it being a cheaply made unit, manufactured by a Ducane company in South Carolina I had never heard of, the unit itself was working way to hard to cool and heat the house.

During the inspection, I took one look at that unit, and immediately made an internal bet with myself: Which will occur first? This AC unit will break down and I will have to replace it? Or Michael Vick getting in trouble again? Ironically, the two events happened almost simultaneously. Yesterday, I not only found out I was going to have to spend $3000+ on a new unit, but I also found out that most likely, Michael Vick, at his 30th Birthday party, ordered one of his homies to pop a cap in the ass of one of his former co-conspirators in the dogfighting ring who showed up to the party uninvited. Michael Vick is a dumpster fire in a way Charlie Sheen can only aspire to be. I mean, this idiot hasn't learned a damn thing about how to behave himself in a manner commensurate with the expectations placed on NFL players by Commissioner Roger Gooddell. He has given Virginia Tech a bad name, and I think it's time for the University to cut ties with him. But I digress.

So Brianne and I are spending the next couple of days in our hot house. It is worse for Brianne because at least I leave in the late morning before it gets too hot and come back after Midnight when it has cooled back down. This weekend we will stay with her parents. On Monday, Donnie will return with our new York unit, and our lives will be whole again.

BTW, the pager did go off while I was typing this post. Luckily, it wasn't anything Jackie or I have to go out for.

It's Over!

Unless something miraculous happens between now and the end of the regular season, this will be my last blog post about the Washington Nationals. After a promising 20-15 start, the Nats have limped to a 13-28 record in their last 41 games. Unlike last season, it isn't really their pitching that is killing them. The problem with this year's Nats team is they are ranked last in most offensive categories. Outside of Adam Dunn, Josh Willingham, and Ryan Zimmerman, the Nats bats are as silent as a comedy club audience hearing Michael Richards' N-word tirade. Poor Stephen Strasburg, the phenomenal rookie starting pitcher, has been pitching lights out in his first four starts. However, the last two games in which he has pitched, he has had next to no run support. What good is having a pitcher of Strasburg's caliber, if the lineup on his team can't score any runs for him. This is why I half-expect Strasburg to sign with another team, like the effing Yankees, when his rookie contract is up. If the Nats don't get some more legitimate hitters, and soon, Strasburg won't stick around to see the rebuilding process come to fruition.

In addition to the poor hitting, the Nats' defense is starting to make more frequent errors, the ones that plagued them all last season. This gave the Orioles (who have only won 23 games all season) the momentum they needed to sweep the Nats this weekend, all wins in which the Orioles trailed by at least 4 runs in each game, and came back and one, because the Nats extended the Orioles' side of the inning by committing errors.

So, I am conceding defeat. That pipe dream I had of the Nats competing for the Wild Card spot is dead like Vanilla Ice's career. Unless Strasburg throws a no-hitter in the rest of the season, you won't hear a peep from me about the Nats until next season. I have two months until the football season starts! Then this blog will get some action!!