Apparently, upper class families in Alaska cannot afford birth control. I read online about how Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, broke of her engagement (again) to wannabe hockey player Levi Johnston. According to the story, Levi, who is the father of Bristol's child, has impregnated another young woman, and this triggered the demise of their engagement, on the same day it was rekindled. I don't give a shit about this story AT ALL. I am not sure how it made it to cbsnews.com, and frankly, I don't care. I am sure it has something to do with Bristol's now barely-relevant mother. But the story of a girl being pissed at her ex-boyfriend/father of her child because he got some other girl pregnant is hardly newsworthy. Their's is a story that plays out in every corner of the country. Therefore, devoting an entire article to one instance of this very common phenomenon seems like a waste of resources.
By stark contrast, I am VERY interested in anything relating to the upcoming football seasons, college and professional. August is one of my favorite month, if only because NFL training camps commence and college football programs begin their fall practices. I get to evaluate the talent on the Virginia Tech roster and develop high hopes for the Hokies in the upcoming season. On the other hand, I get to watch daily reports about how Albert Haynesworth cannot seem to pass the Redskins' conditioning test. This story would be completely comical if it weren't for the fact that this is a player in which the Skins invested $100 million over the next 7 years. He has already been paid $32 Million of that money, and for doing nothing but being a constant pain in the ass of everyone in the Redskins Organization. He has done nothing but bitch and complain about how playing Nose Tackle in Defensive Coordinator Jim Haslett's 3-4 defense because it doesn't cater to his skill set. Damn, Albert, for $100 million, wouldn't you say you should be making the adjustments your employer is asking of you? Just a thought.
But the main reason I know the NFL season is upon us is the now traditional Annual Brett Favre "Will he or won't he retire?" saga. I love Brett Favre as a player. His grittiness and brazen approach to the quarterback position is something I respect greatly. But his constant retiring and unretiring is getting, well, tiring!
My expectations for the Redskins this year are not high, like they EVER really are. Having a new coaching staff in place means needing at least one season to adjust to new offensive and defensive systems, new terminology, and development of team chemistry. Is Donovan McNabb the QB who will take the Skins to the Super Bowl? I am not fully convinced that he is, mostly because he has not been able to play a full season for the past six years due to injury. I think skillwise, he still has the talent to lead a team deep into the playoffs. But his durability has always been his Achilles' Heel. The Skins are also relying on a trio of aging tailbacks to produce in the running game: Clinton Portis, Larry Johnson, and Willie Parker, all of whom are at least 30 years old. All in all, I am not expecting a whole lot from the Redskins this year.
On the other hand, I am very optimistic about the Hokies. They are absolutely loaded on offense this year. This starts with their running game. When you have Ryan Williams as your starting running back, you are in great shape. The kid ran for over 1,600 yards last season. Backing him up is the 2008 starter, Darren Evans, who rushed for 1,200 yards that season. He would have been the starter last year, but had a season ending ACL injury. He has looked great in practice. So the running game is solid with those two in the backfiel, not to mention David Wilson and Josh Oglesby, who are pretty good runners themselves. The O-line is much more athletic than last year. The wide receiving corp are all Juniors now, and will only continue to improve. The only question about the Hokies this season will be how effectively they can replace all the starters they lost on defense. But with Bud Foster as the Defensive Coordinator, I wouldn't worry too much. Plus, if the offense can run the clock down with their powerful running attack, the defense may not have to be on the field a whole lot. Any questions about the Hokies will be answered the first game of the season when they host Boise State on Labor Day.
Football season is by far my favorite time of the year, although I doubt my wife would say the same thing on her own behalf. I am hopeful that I will be able to go to at least one Hokies game this year, in Blacksburg. Not only does football season excite me because of the game itself, but it also symbolizes the commencement of Autumn, my favorite season. At this point, I am sick of hot weather. 90 degree days with high humidity are fun no longer. I am ready for October, when the temps drop to the 60's and you can golf without constantly having to mop the sweat of your brow. So yes, I am ready for some football!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
"You're wearing the shirt for the band you are going to see? Don't be that guy!"
Blogging is quickly becoming my favorite "downtime at work" pasttime. And to avoid the Internet police, I usually write up my blog on Microsoft Word and paste it into the blog. Although, I am not sure if the agency really looks at internet use outside of normal business hours. I mean, it's 9:40pm, for goodness sakes. They gotta figure we have SOME downtime on this shift.
So I was perusing the internet briefly to find out information about the Acacia Strain, a metal band whose new album I am interested in purchasing at some point. I am doing this primarily because I am trying to calm down after the case I just dealt with at the Lynchburg General ER (I will get to that in a moment). Apparently, the Acacia Strain is not allowed to play anymore gigs at the House of Blues in Orlando, Florida. The reason for this is because there was a brawl during the concert, but not during Acacia's set. However, the proprietors of the club identified that several brawl participants had Acacia Strain shirts on.
I have two problems with this. First, why punish the Acacia Strain when the brawl didn't even occur during their set. Second, why were the Acacia Strain fans blatantly engaging in the most cardinal sin of concertgoing, that being "Don't ever wear a t-shirt for the band you are going to see!". So now I'm thinking that House of Blues, Orlando has banned the Acacia Strain because of their dorky, Acacia Strain shirt-wearing fans, not because of some brawl. It is a well known fact that when you go to a metal concert, you wear a shirt from a band that is not performing at that concert. If you don't have any metal shirts, then you wear a camoflage t-shirt, black jeans and white high tops like this idiot Roman and I saw at an Obituary concert once. The dude looked like Cha-Chi, and he started hitting on the wife of Obituary's bassist Frank Watkins, who promptly stared Cha-Chi down and gave him the throat slash gesture.
So back to that ECO case I worked at the ER. I like to believe that there are no bad cases in crisis work, and by bad I mean "wastes of my time". 99.9% of the case I see are at least rooted in some valid concerns by family, friends or other CSB staff. However, tonight's case was a waste of time and resources. I can't go into all the details due to confidentiality of course. But suffice it to say, the case had me scratching my head as to how the Magistrate in Appomattox County even decided there was enough evidence to issue an ECO. The client and his wife have a marriage that has long since been dead. I think the wife made up a whole bunch of stuff to get the client ECO'd and subsequently evaluated by mental health. And this gentleman I was evaluating was completely flabbergasted about what happened. The more information I obtained from him, as well as his daughter, the more I realized that his wife had gotten an ECO under false pretenses. I felt sorry for the man after that, but moreover, I was pretty livid inside.
The reason I was so angry was because this woman wasted a lot of time and resources with her little escapade. First, she wasted the magistrate's time. Then, she wasted time and resources of the Appomattox Sheriff's Department, who had to use one of their few on-duty deputies to transport the client to the ER for assessment. Third, she wasted time and resources of the ER staff, by taking up an ER bay with an "ECO for spite" case. Finally, she wasted my time because I still had to do all of the same paperwork I would do for a legitimate case.
Needless to say, I have had to process this incident in my head. I feel better now, but my drive back to the office consisted of me ruminating over it in my head. I can rest easy tonight and contemplate going to an Acacia Strain concert at some point in time. Unfortunately, it won't be on Mickey Mouse's turf.
So I was perusing the internet briefly to find out information about the Acacia Strain, a metal band whose new album I am interested in purchasing at some point. I am doing this primarily because I am trying to calm down after the case I just dealt with at the Lynchburg General ER (I will get to that in a moment). Apparently, the Acacia Strain is not allowed to play anymore gigs at the House of Blues in Orlando, Florida. The reason for this is because there was a brawl during the concert, but not during Acacia's set. However, the proprietors of the club identified that several brawl participants had Acacia Strain shirts on.
I have two problems with this. First, why punish the Acacia Strain when the brawl didn't even occur during their set. Second, why were the Acacia Strain fans blatantly engaging in the most cardinal sin of concertgoing, that being "Don't ever wear a t-shirt for the band you are going to see!". So now I'm thinking that House of Blues, Orlando has banned the Acacia Strain because of their dorky, Acacia Strain shirt-wearing fans, not because of some brawl. It is a well known fact that when you go to a metal concert, you wear a shirt from a band that is not performing at that concert. If you don't have any metal shirts, then you wear a camoflage t-shirt, black jeans and white high tops like this idiot Roman and I saw at an Obituary concert once. The dude looked like Cha-Chi, and he started hitting on the wife of Obituary's bassist Frank Watkins, who promptly stared Cha-Chi down and gave him the throat slash gesture.
So back to that ECO case I worked at the ER. I like to believe that there are no bad cases in crisis work, and by bad I mean "wastes of my time". 99.9% of the case I see are at least rooted in some valid concerns by family, friends or other CSB staff. However, tonight's case was a waste of time and resources. I can't go into all the details due to confidentiality of course. But suffice it to say, the case had me scratching my head as to how the Magistrate in Appomattox County even decided there was enough evidence to issue an ECO. The client and his wife have a marriage that has long since been dead. I think the wife made up a whole bunch of stuff to get the client ECO'd and subsequently evaluated by mental health. And this gentleman I was evaluating was completely flabbergasted about what happened. The more information I obtained from him, as well as his daughter, the more I realized that his wife had gotten an ECO under false pretenses. I felt sorry for the man after that, but moreover, I was pretty livid inside.
The reason I was so angry was because this woman wasted a lot of time and resources with her little escapade. First, she wasted the magistrate's time. Then, she wasted time and resources of the Appomattox Sheriff's Department, who had to use one of their few on-duty deputies to transport the client to the ER for assessment. Third, she wasted time and resources of the ER staff, by taking up an ER bay with an "ECO for spite" case. Finally, she wasted my time because I still had to do all of the same paperwork I would do for a legitimate case.
Needless to say, I have had to process this incident in my head. I feel better now, but my drive back to the office consisted of me ruminating over it in my head. I can rest easy tonight and contemplate going to an Acacia Strain concert at some point in time. Unfortunately, it won't be on Mickey Mouse's turf.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
REAGAN!! REAGAN!!
That's what I was screaming at the television today. While our new Air Conditioning unit was being installed by my brother-in-law's HVAC Technician friend Aaron, I was watching episodes of JEOPARDY I had recorded on DVR. I watch that show religiously and my work schedule does not allow me to watch it during its normal timeslot. This week is "Kids Week" on the show. So I get to feel a lot smarter watching Jeopardy than normal because the questions are catered to 10-12 year olds. But on one of the episodes, the one from Tuesday, the kids really upset me!
I forget the category now, but the clue asked the contestants to identify who the U.S. President was that was shown in a picture wherein he is shaking hands with a Chinese politician. Looking at the picture, I clearly identified that President as Ronald Reagan. I THOUGHT the kids would all know this as well. However, I was sorely disappointed, and later, a bit depressed. First off, none of the three kids knew who the President was. What made it worse is that they went ahead and took a stab at it anyways. One kid said "Who is Nixon?". Nope! Another kid said "Who is JFK?". What the heck? When Alex Trebek informed these youngins of the correct answer, he had this dispondent look on his face. I agree, Alex. I thought they should have known that too!
The reason I felt a bit depressed later on is because I am now starting to feel a bit old. God, I am only 33, but I feel like such a lamer. I find myself talk about what kind of crap passes off as music these days, and how can today's kids listen to that junk? I reminisce about "good" music, like Alice in Chains, Nirvana, and old-school Nine Inch Nails, and how today's bands can't hold a candle to those legendary artists. I mean, there is a whole generation of 16 year olds who never saw Kurt Cobain alive. And now, these same kids apparently have no idea who the hell Ronald Reagan was. Love him or hate him, he was one of the more iconic Presidents we have had. And these young Jeopardy contestants took a (failed) stab at it!
I know I am not a young, idealistic 17 year old boy anymore. The gradual disappearance of hair on top of my head is certainly evidence of that. But when I start talking about how I can't believe these kids today don't know who Reagan is, or how I can't stand the music today's kids listen to, I start coming to the realization that I am showing my age a bit. What's worse, I am starting to sound like my parents. They bashed my music and talked about how Elvis and the Beatles kick my music's ass. And I would just laugh at them because there was no way Elvis is better than Alice in Chains.
Let's face it! If you are currently in your 30's, you were primarily brought up in the 80's and 90's. The world has changed immensely since those decades. We didn't have the Internet, iPods, or cell phones when I was in high school. Life was simpler. We didn't have to worry about kids getting in trouble for sexting, we didn't have Emo (we had Goth, but not Emo). We knew how to use a pay phone, and in some cases, a rotary phone. With everything going on in American schools these days, I am almost scared to send my own kids to public schools. School violence continues to be a growing epidemic, kids having sex at younger and younger ages. And it all starts at home!
Here is my plea to all the parents out there who are raising young kids. Do right by your kids. Today's parents are my peers, and we were all raised with Mr. Rogers telling us "You're Special!" This gave my generation a sense of entitlement, and therefore, when my generation becomes parents, they are more lax when it comes to raising their kids. They let their kids get away with a hell of a lot more than my parents let me get away with. Though people from my generation may be starting to feel old, we still have a lot of growing up to do! Our kids depend on it. We have to have the right balance between letting our children grow up to be unique individuals and dishing out proper discipline when necessary. We need to emphasize the importance of the past with our children, if only to help them learn from the mistakes of the past so as not to repeat them. Overall, we have to arm our kids with the knowledge they need to be successful in life. And we can start by making sure they know who Ronald Reagan is!
I forget the category now, but the clue asked the contestants to identify who the U.S. President was that was shown in a picture wherein he is shaking hands with a Chinese politician. Looking at the picture, I clearly identified that President as Ronald Reagan. I THOUGHT the kids would all know this as well. However, I was sorely disappointed, and later, a bit depressed. First off, none of the three kids knew who the President was. What made it worse is that they went ahead and took a stab at it anyways. One kid said "Who is Nixon?". Nope! Another kid said "Who is JFK?". What the heck? When Alex Trebek informed these youngins of the correct answer, he had this dispondent look on his face. I agree, Alex. I thought they should have known that too!
The reason I felt a bit depressed later on is because I am now starting to feel a bit old. God, I am only 33, but I feel like such a lamer. I find myself talk about what kind of crap passes off as music these days, and how can today's kids listen to that junk? I reminisce about "good" music, like Alice in Chains, Nirvana, and old-school Nine Inch Nails, and how today's bands can't hold a candle to those legendary artists. I mean, there is a whole generation of 16 year olds who never saw Kurt Cobain alive. And now, these same kids apparently have no idea who the hell Ronald Reagan was. Love him or hate him, he was one of the more iconic Presidents we have had. And these young Jeopardy contestants took a (failed) stab at it!
I know I am not a young, idealistic 17 year old boy anymore. The gradual disappearance of hair on top of my head is certainly evidence of that. But when I start talking about how I can't believe these kids today don't know who Reagan is, or how I can't stand the music today's kids listen to, I start coming to the realization that I am showing my age a bit. What's worse, I am starting to sound like my parents. They bashed my music and talked about how Elvis and the Beatles kick my music's ass. And I would just laugh at them because there was no way Elvis is better than Alice in Chains.
Let's face it! If you are currently in your 30's, you were primarily brought up in the 80's and 90's. The world has changed immensely since those decades. We didn't have the Internet, iPods, or cell phones when I was in high school. Life was simpler. We didn't have to worry about kids getting in trouble for sexting, we didn't have Emo (we had Goth, but not Emo). We knew how to use a pay phone, and in some cases, a rotary phone. With everything going on in American schools these days, I am almost scared to send my own kids to public schools. School violence continues to be a growing epidemic, kids having sex at younger and younger ages. And it all starts at home!
Here is my plea to all the parents out there who are raising young kids. Do right by your kids. Today's parents are my peers, and we were all raised with Mr. Rogers telling us "You're Special!" This gave my generation a sense of entitlement, and therefore, when my generation becomes parents, they are more lax when it comes to raising their kids. They let their kids get away with a hell of a lot more than my parents let me get away with. Though people from my generation may be starting to feel old, we still have a lot of growing up to do! Our kids depend on it. We have to have the right balance between letting our children grow up to be unique individuals and dishing out proper discipline when necessary. We need to emphasize the importance of the past with our children, if only to help them learn from the mistakes of the past so as not to repeat them. Overall, we have to arm our kids with the knowledge they need to be successful in life. And we can start by making sure they know who Ronald Reagan is!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
When "Eventually" Became "Now".
I am sitting in my office at work (and by "my" office, I mean the office I share with my co-workers Amanda and Heather, and an intern named Janet who looks like a 50 year old version of a girl I knew in college). Tonight is eerily quiet, though I keep waiting for the pager to go off. Jackie (my other co-worker who works the same shift as I) could certainly use the break after yesterday's "crisis fest".
I spent some of this evening reading Chuck Klosterman's book "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs", wherein I discovered that cold cereal was invented to stifle the rampant libidos of 19th Century Victorians. But I continued to be distracted by the fact that, at the current time, my wife Brianne and I do not have air conditioning in our home. This is due to the fact that our current Ducane unit decided to die on us on Tuesday. I remember when we had our home inspection prior to closing on our house last July, and the inspector and I going to the back of the house to inspect the unit, because at the time of the inspection, it was not cooling at all. Apparently, the homeowners at that time did not really use AC like normal Americans, and didn't realize there was something wrong. Obviously, Brianne and I required the owner's to have that fixed. What it seems happened is that the HVAC company that came in and fixed it did a "quick fix" by installing a hard start on the unit and replacing the capacitor. What our HVAC guy, Donnie, informed us of is that the unit we have is too small for our house. It is a two-ton unit, and we need a three-ton, based on our square footage. So on top of it being a cheaply made unit, manufactured by a Ducane company in South Carolina I had never heard of, the unit itself was working way to hard to cool and heat the house.
During the inspection, I took one look at that unit, and immediately made an internal bet with myself: Which will occur first? This AC unit will break down and I will have to replace it? Or Michael Vick getting in trouble again? Ironically, the two events happened almost simultaneously. Yesterday, I not only found out I was going to have to spend $3000+ on a new unit, but I also found out that most likely, Michael Vick, at his 30th Birthday party, ordered one of his homies to pop a cap in the ass of one of his former co-conspirators in the dogfighting ring who showed up to the party uninvited. Michael Vick is a dumpster fire in a way Charlie Sheen can only aspire to be. I mean, this idiot hasn't learned a damn thing about how to behave himself in a manner commensurate with the expectations placed on NFL players by Commissioner Roger Gooddell. He has given Virginia Tech a bad name, and I think it's time for the University to cut ties with him. But I digress.
So Brianne and I are spending the next couple of days in our hot house. It is worse for Brianne because at least I leave in the late morning before it gets too hot and come back after Midnight when it has cooled back down. This weekend we will stay with her parents. On Monday, Donnie will return with our new York unit, and our lives will be whole again.
BTW, the pager did go off while I was typing this post. Luckily, it wasn't anything Jackie or I have to go out for.
I spent some of this evening reading Chuck Klosterman's book "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs", wherein I discovered that cold cereal was invented to stifle the rampant libidos of 19th Century Victorians. But I continued to be distracted by the fact that, at the current time, my wife Brianne and I do not have air conditioning in our home. This is due to the fact that our current Ducane unit decided to die on us on Tuesday. I remember when we had our home inspection prior to closing on our house last July, and the inspector and I going to the back of the house to inspect the unit, because at the time of the inspection, it was not cooling at all. Apparently, the homeowners at that time did not really use AC like normal Americans, and didn't realize there was something wrong. Obviously, Brianne and I required the owner's to have that fixed. What it seems happened is that the HVAC company that came in and fixed it did a "quick fix" by installing a hard start on the unit and replacing the capacitor. What our HVAC guy, Donnie, informed us of is that the unit we have is too small for our house. It is a two-ton unit, and we need a three-ton, based on our square footage. So on top of it being a cheaply made unit, manufactured by a Ducane company in South Carolina I had never heard of, the unit itself was working way to hard to cool and heat the house.
During the inspection, I took one look at that unit, and immediately made an internal bet with myself: Which will occur first? This AC unit will break down and I will have to replace it? Or Michael Vick getting in trouble again? Ironically, the two events happened almost simultaneously. Yesterday, I not only found out I was going to have to spend $3000+ on a new unit, but I also found out that most likely, Michael Vick, at his 30th Birthday party, ordered one of his homies to pop a cap in the ass of one of his former co-conspirators in the dogfighting ring who showed up to the party uninvited. Michael Vick is a dumpster fire in a way Charlie Sheen can only aspire to be. I mean, this idiot hasn't learned a damn thing about how to behave himself in a manner commensurate with the expectations placed on NFL players by Commissioner Roger Gooddell. He has given Virginia Tech a bad name, and I think it's time for the University to cut ties with him. But I digress.
So Brianne and I are spending the next couple of days in our hot house. It is worse for Brianne because at least I leave in the late morning before it gets too hot and come back after Midnight when it has cooled back down. This weekend we will stay with her parents. On Monday, Donnie will return with our new York unit, and our lives will be whole again.
BTW, the pager did go off while I was typing this post. Luckily, it wasn't anything Jackie or I have to go out for.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
It's Over!
Unless something miraculous happens between now and the end of the regular season, this will be my last blog post about the Washington Nationals. After a promising 20-15 start, the Nats have limped to a 13-28 record in their last 41 games. Unlike last season, it isn't really their pitching that is killing them. The problem with this year's Nats team is they are ranked last in most offensive categories. Outside of Adam Dunn, Josh Willingham, and Ryan Zimmerman, the Nats bats are as silent as a comedy club audience hearing Michael Richards' N-word tirade. Poor Stephen Strasburg, the phenomenal rookie starting pitcher, has been pitching lights out in his first four starts. However, the last two games in which he has pitched, he has had next to no run support. What good is having a pitcher of Strasburg's caliber, if the lineup on his team can't score any runs for him. This is why I half-expect Strasburg to sign with another team, like the effing Yankees, when his rookie contract is up. If the Nats don't get some more legitimate hitters, and soon, Strasburg won't stick around to see the rebuilding process come to fruition.
In addition to the poor hitting, the Nats' defense is starting to make more frequent errors, the ones that plagued them all last season. This gave the Orioles (who have only won 23 games all season) the momentum they needed to sweep the Nats this weekend, all wins in which the Orioles trailed by at least 4 runs in each game, and came back and one, because the Nats extended the Orioles' side of the inning by committing errors.
So, I am conceding defeat. That pipe dream I had of the Nats competing for the Wild Card spot is dead like Vanilla Ice's career. Unless Strasburg throws a no-hitter in the rest of the season, you won't hear a peep from me about the Nats until next season. I have two months until the football season starts! Then this blog will get some action!!
In addition to the poor hitting, the Nats' defense is starting to make more frequent errors, the ones that plagued them all last season. This gave the Orioles (who have only won 23 games all season) the momentum they needed to sweep the Nats this weekend, all wins in which the Orioles trailed by at least 4 runs in each game, and came back and one, because the Nats extended the Orioles' side of the inning by committing errors.
So, I am conceding defeat. That pipe dream I had of the Nats competing for the Wild Card spot is dead like Vanilla Ice's career. Unless Strasburg throws a no-hitter in the rest of the season, you won't hear a peep from me about the Nats until next season. I have two months until the football season starts! Then this blog will get some action!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Random Thoughts for June 24th, 2010
1) Last night's drive home from work included me re-introducing myself to the highly underrated Nine Inch Nails album "The Fragile". This double-CD album, though not nearly as popular as "The Downward Spiral" includes some of Trent Reznor's most introspective material up to that point. My drive also included the usual dodging of deer and other creatures of the night. To my surprise, this included three Holstein cows on River Road in Amherst County. I know the cows belong to the guy who lives right off the road. How his cows actually got on the road is beyond me, because I thought he had them fenced in. But hey, I can now add "cows" to the list of critters I have avoided smashing with my car during my trips home.
2) I really hate those "accordion-style" Post-It Notes. You know the ones where each individual note sticks in the opposite direction from the previous one. I reach for one note, not realizing it is the accordion type, and thus being attacked by a stream of Post-It notes. Aren't most people's jobs stressful enough without having to worry which way they need to turn their Post-It notes to retrieve one?
3) If you are balding and have a ponytail, you are pretty much guaranteeing you will never get laid again. I see these guys who grow out what little hair they have an pull it into this pathetic ponytail. Some of them grow their bangs out really long so they can slick them back, but you can see their bald skull sticking out through it all. The most pathetic guys are the ones who only have hair on the sides and back of their head and grow that out. I had a barber who did that--in the early 80's, and I think it was considered sad back then too! I have yet to see one of these guys walking down the street hand in hand with a woman that wasn't his mother. When Jack Owen, former guitarist for Cannibal Corpse, realized he was balding, he shaved his head. So give up the dream, and get a haircut. Then, cancel your World of Warcraft subscription, move out of your parents' basement, and get a job!
2) I really hate those "accordion-style" Post-It Notes. You know the ones where each individual note sticks in the opposite direction from the previous one. I reach for one note, not realizing it is the accordion type, and thus being attacked by a stream of Post-It notes. Aren't most people's jobs stressful enough without having to worry which way they need to turn their Post-It notes to retrieve one?
3) If you are balding and have a ponytail, you are pretty much guaranteeing you will never get laid again. I see these guys who grow out what little hair they have an pull it into this pathetic ponytail. Some of them grow their bangs out really long so they can slick them back, but you can see their bald skull sticking out through it all. The most pathetic guys are the ones who only have hair on the sides and back of their head and grow that out. I had a barber who did that--in the early 80's, and I think it was considered sad back then too! I have yet to see one of these guys walking down the street hand in hand with a woman that wasn't his mother. When Jack Owen, former guitarist for Cannibal Corpse, realized he was balding, he shaved his head. So give up the dream, and get a haircut. Then, cancel your World of Warcraft subscription, move out of your parents' basement, and get a job!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A Small Victory
Today, the United States Soccer Team advanced to the next round of the World Cup with their 1-0 defeat of Algeria. Thanks to a goal by Landon Donovan in the 91st minute, the U.S. can breathe a sigh of relief. Not just because they had to work extra hard to overcome early deficits in the first two games, which ended in a 1-1 draw with England and a 2-2 draw with Slovenia. They should also be relieved that the FIFA referees that were so clearly working against them didn’t actually sabotage their efforts to get to the Round of 16. In the last two matches, the US scored goals that were disallowed because the US was supposedly offsides. However, replays in both of those instances showed, in fact, that that was not the case, and the goals should have stood. In the Slovenia match, Maurice Edu’s goal was overturned, which cost the U.S. two points in the standings, since you get three points for a win, one for a draw. Since the Slovenia match ended in a draw, we only got one point, which meant we absolutely had to beat Algeria today.
Today’s match versus Algeria was wide open. Each side had multiple scoring chances. In the 21st minute, Clint Dempsey scored a great goal, which was subsequently wiped out, again because the referee claimed the U.S. was offsides. Again, replays clearly showed that was not the case. So if not for Donovan’s late goal, the U.S. would be on the next flight back to the States.
Even though the United States advanced to the next round of the World Cup, it is quite clear that FIFA, the governing body of international soccer (futbol, football, whatever you want to call it), does not want the U.S. to win the Cup; hence the blatant bad calls. And their reasons may be, at least in part, justified. It is a well-known fact that in the grand scheme of things, Americans do not really care about soccer. According to ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd, the 5 most popular sports in the USA are:
1)NFL Football
2)Major League Baseball
3)College Football (only very slightly behind baseball)
4)NBA Basketball
5)Men’s College Basketball
If I took it to the top ten, I am sure soccer still wouldn’t make the list, getting beaten out by PGA Golf and college baseball, among other things. My point is, soccer doesn’t mean nearly as much to Americans as it does to Europeans or Latin Americans. It’s so not important to our country that we actually have to call it “soccer” as opposed to “football” so we don’t get strikers confused with quarterbacks. The only time soccer really seems to matter in this country is now, during the World Cup. Every four years, the world gets together, and the 32 countries with the best national soccer teams duke it out for 30 days until one is the champion. The U.S. has never one the World Cup because we don’t eat, drink and sleep soccer like European or Central and South American countries. In those countries, soccer is king. It is the national sport/pastime of most of those countries. I think most kids in Brazil come out of the womb holding a soccer ball. In Europe and Latin America, soccer is religion. Therefore, if one of those countries, such as Brazil, were to win the World Cup, the sense of national pride felt by all Brazilians would be overwhelming. The whole country would shut down for a day or two so they could celebrate their victory. If the United States were to win, however, we would probably be happy that we did so, but in the big picture, it would most likely take a distant back seat to seeing our favorite NFL team win the Super Bowl, or our college Alma Mater winning the National Championship in football.
Overall, Americans are bandwagon soccer fans who know enough about the sport to be dangerous. FIFA knows this, and I think they believe that the U.S. winning the World Cup would be a waste since they are convinced our country would never fully appreciate it. It would kind of be like if there were an American Football World Cup. We would most certainly win it every time, but if Argentina were to win it, I don’t think they would see it as that big of a deal, because American Football is our thing, not theirs. That being said, FIFA wants a European or Latin American team to win the World Cup. They want the championship to belong to a country that has immense soccer tradition, and that will fully understand what it means to be World Cup Champions (I am talking about people in general, not the players). Therefore, you can expect more calls going against the U.S. squad in the next round. The FIFA referees have clearly demonstrated their bias against the U.S. We are the only squad that has two goals that were disallowed by the refs, and both wrongfully so. Just like discovering life on another planet, it is clear to me that the U.S. will not win a World Cup in our lifetime.
So enjoy today’s victory America, for it will be short-lived! I hate to sound so negative, but I am just faced with the reality of international soccer politics. But I would be interested to see what would happen if the U.S. did win the World Cup. Perhaps that would get FIFA off our backs. Maybe it would spark a long-lasting American interest in soccer. Maybe. Until then, I am left with my cynicism.
Today’s match versus Algeria was wide open. Each side had multiple scoring chances. In the 21st minute, Clint Dempsey scored a great goal, which was subsequently wiped out, again because the referee claimed the U.S. was offsides. Again, replays clearly showed that was not the case. So if not for Donovan’s late goal, the U.S. would be on the next flight back to the States.
Even though the United States advanced to the next round of the World Cup, it is quite clear that FIFA, the governing body of international soccer (futbol, football, whatever you want to call it), does not want the U.S. to win the Cup; hence the blatant bad calls. And their reasons may be, at least in part, justified. It is a well-known fact that in the grand scheme of things, Americans do not really care about soccer. According to ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd, the 5 most popular sports in the USA are:
1)NFL Football
2)Major League Baseball
3)College Football (only very slightly behind baseball)
4)NBA Basketball
5)Men’s College Basketball
If I took it to the top ten, I am sure soccer still wouldn’t make the list, getting beaten out by PGA Golf and college baseball, among other things. My point is, soccer doesn’t mean nearly as much to Americans as it does to Europeans or Latin Americans. It’s so not important to our country that we actually have to call it “soccer” as opposed to “football” so we don’t get strikers confused with quarterbacks. The only time soccer really seems to matter in this country is now, during the World Cup. Every four years, the world gets together, and the 32 countries with the best national soccer teams duke it out for 30 days until one is the champion. The U.S. has never one the World Cup because we don’t eat, drink and sleep soccer like European or Central and South American countries. In those countries, soccer is king. It is the national sport/pastime of most of those countries. I think most kids in Brazil come out of the womb holding a soccer ball. In Europe and Latin America, soccer is religion. Therefore, if one of those countries, such as Brazil, were to win the World Cup, the sense of national pride felt by all Brazilians would be overwhelming. The whole country would shut down for a day or two so they could celebrate their victory. If the United States were to win, however, we would probably be happy that we did so, but in the big picture, it would most likely take a distant back seat to seeing our favorite NFL team win the Super Bowl, or our college Alma Mater winning the National Championship in football.
Overall, Americans are bandwagon soccer fans who know enough about the sport to be dangerous. FIFA knows this, and I think they believe that the U.S. winning the World Cup would be a waste since they are convinced our country would never fully appreciate it. It would kind of be like if there were an American Football World Cup. We would most certainly win it every time, but if Argentina were to win it, I don’t think they would see it as that big of a deal, because American Football is our thing, not theirs. That being said, FIFA wants a European or Latin American team to win the World Cup. They want the championship to belong to a country that has immense soccer tradition, and that will fully understand what it means to be World Cup Champions (I am talking about people in general, not the players). Therefore, you can expect more calls going against the U.S. squad in the next round. The FIFA referees have clearly demonstrated their bias against the U.S. We are the only squad that has two goals that were disallowed by the refs, and both wrongfully so. Just like discovering life on another planet, it is clear to me that the U.S. will not win a World Cup in our lifetime.
So enjoy today’s victory America, for it will be short-lived! I hate to sound so negative, but I am just faced with the reality of international soccer politics. But I would be interested to see what would happen if the U.S. did win the World Cup. Perhaps that would get FIFA off our backs. Maybe it would spark a long-lasting American interest in soccer. Maybe. Until then, I am left with my cynicism.
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