I am sitting in my office at work (and by "my" office, I mean the office I share with my co-workers Amanda and Heather, and an intern named Janet who looks like a 50 year old version of a girl I knew in college). Tonight is eerily quiet, though I keep waiting for the pager to go off. Jackie (my other co-worker who works the same shift as I) could certainly use the break after yesterday's "crisis fest".
I spent some of this evening reading Chuck Klosterman's book "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs", wherein I discovered that cold cereal was invented to stifle the rampant libidos of 19th Century Victorians. But I continued to be distracted by the fact that, at the current time, my wife Brianne and I do not have air conditioning in our home. This is due to the fact that our current Ducane unit decided to die on us on Tuesday. I remember when we had our home inspection prior to closing on our house last July, and the inspector and I going to the back of the house to inspect the unit, because at the time of the inspection, it was not cooling at all. Apparently, the homeowners at that time did not really use AC like normal Americans, and didn't realize there was something wrong. Obviously, Brianne and I required the owner's to have that fixed. What it seems happened is that the HVAC company that came in and fixed it did a "quick fix" by installing a hard start on the unit and replacing the capacitor. What our HVAC guy, Donnie, informed us of is that the unit we have is too small for our house. It is a two-ton unit, and we need a three-ton, based on our square footage. So on top of it being a cheaply made unit, manufactured by a Ducane company in South Carolina I had never heard of, the unit itself was working way to hard to cool and heat the house.
During the inspection, I took one look at that unit, and immediately made an internal bet with myself: Which will occur first? This AC unit will break down and I will have to replace it? Or Michael Vick getting in trouble again? Ironically, the two events happened almost simultaneously. Yesterday, I not only found out I was going to have to spend $3000+ on a new unit, but I also found out that most likely, Michael Vick, at his 30th Birthday party, ordered one of his homies to pop a cap in the ass of one of his former co-conspirators in the dogfighting ring who showed up to the party uninvited. Michael Vick is a dumpster fire in a way Charlie Sheen can only aspire to be. I mean, this idiot hasn't learned a damn thing about how to behave himself in a manner commensurate with the expectations placed on NFL players by Commissioner Roger Gooddell. He has given Virginia Tech a bad name, and I think it's time for the University to cut ties with him. But I digress.
So Brianne and I are spending the next couple of days in our hot house. It is worse for Brianne because at least I leave in the late morning before it gets too hot and come back after Midnight when it has cooled back down. This weekend we will stay with her parents. On Monday, Donnie will return with our new York unit, and our lives will be whole again.
BTW, the pager did go off while I was typing this post. Luckily, it wasn't anything Jackie or I have to go out for.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
It's Over!
Unless something miraculous happens between now and the end of the regular season, this will be my last blog post about the Washington Nationals. After a promising 20-15 start, the Nats have limped to a 13-28 record in their last 41 games. Unlike last season, it isn't really their pitching that is killing them. The problem with this year's Nats team is they are ranked last in most offensive categories. Outside of Adam Dunn, Josh Willingham, and Ryan Zimmerman, the Nats bats are as silent as a comedy club audience hearing Michael Richards' N-word tirade. Poor Stephen Strasburg, the phenomenal rookie starting pitcher, has been pitching lights out in his first four starts. However, the last two games in which he has pitched, he has had next to no run support. What good is having a pitcher of Strasburg's caliber, if the lineup on his team can't score any runs for him. This is why I half-expect Strasburg to sign with another team, like the effing Yankees, when his rookie contract is up. If the Nats don't get some more legitimate hitters, and soon, Strasburg won't stick around to see the rebuilding process come to fruition.
In addition to the poor hitting, the Nats' defense is starting to make more frequent errors, the ones that plagued them all last season. This gave the Orioles (who have only won 23 games all season) the momentum they needed to sweep the Nats this weekend, all wins in which the Orioles trailed by at least 4 runs in each game, and came back and one, because the Nats extended the Orioles' side of the inning by committing errors.
So, I am conceding defeat. That pipe dream I had of the Nats competing for the Wild Card spot is dead like Vanilla Ice's career. Unless Strasburg throws a no-hitter in the rest of the season, you won't hear a peep from me about the Nats until next season. I have two months until the football season starts! Then this blog will get some action!!
In addition to the poor hitting, the Nats' defense is starting to make more frequent errors, the ones that plagued them all last season. This gave the Orioles (who have only won 23 games all season) the momentum they needed to sweep the Nats this weekend, all wins in which the Orioles trailed by at least 4 runs in each game, and came back and one, because the Nats extended the Orioles' side of the inning by committing errors.
So, I am conceding defeat. That pipe dream I had of the Nats competing for the Wild Card spot is dead like Vanilla Ice's career. Unless Strasburg throws a no-hitter in the rest of the season, you won't hear a peep from me about the Nats until next season. I have two months until the football season starts! Then this blog will get some action!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Random Thoughts for June 24th, 2010
1) Last night's drive home from work included me re-introducing myself to the highly underrated Nine Inch Nails album "The Fragile". This double-CD album, though not nearly as popular as "The Downward Spiral" includes some of Trent Reznor's most introspective material up to that point. My drive also included the usual dodging of deer and other creatures of the night. To my surprise, this included three Holstein cows on River Road in Amherst County. I know the cows belong to the guy who lives right off the road. How his cows actually got on the road is beyond me, because I thought he had them fenced in. But hey, I can now add "cows" to the list of critters I have avoided smashing with my car during my trips home.
2) I really hate those "accordion-style" Post-It Notes. You know the ones where each individual note sticks in the opposite direction from the previous one. I reach for one note, not realizing it is the accordion type, and thus being attacked by a stream of Post-It notes. Aren't most people's jobs stressful enough without having to worry which way they need to turn their Post-It notes to retrieve one?
3) If you are balding and have a ponytail, you are pretty much guaranteeing you will never get laid again. I see these guys who grow out what little hair they have an pull it into this pathetic ponytail. Some of them grow their bangs out really long so they can slick them back, but you can see their bald skull sticking out through it all. The most pathetic guys are the ones who only have hair on the sides and back of their head and grow that out. I had a barber who did that--in the early 80's, and I think it was considered sad back then too! I have yet to see one of these guys walking down the street hand in hand with a woman that wasn't his mother. When Jack Owen, former guitarist for Cannibal Corpse, realized he was balding, he shaved his head. So give up the dream, and get a haircut. Then, cancel your World of Warcraft subscription, move out of your parents' basement, and get a job!
2) I really hate those "accordion-style" Post-It Notes. You know the ones where each individual note sticks in the opposite direction from the previous one. I reach for one note, not realizing it is the accordion type, and thus being attacked by a stream of Post-It notes. Aren't most people's jobs stressful enough without having to worry which way they need to turn their Post-It notes to retrieve one?
3) If you are balding and have a ponytail, you are pretty much guaranteeing you will never get laid again. I see these guys who grow out what little hair they have an pull it into this pathetic ponytail. Some of them grow their bangs out really long so they can slick them back, but you can see their bald skull sticking out through it all. The most pathetic guys are the ones who only have hair on the sides and back of their head and grow that out. I had a barber who did that--in the early 80's, and I think it was considered sad back then too! I have yet to see one of these guys walking down the street hand in hand with a woman that wasn't his mother. When Jack Owen, former guitarist for Cannibal Corpse, realized he was balding, he shaved his head. So give up the dream, and get a haircut. Then, cancel your World of Warcraft subscription, move out of your parents' basement, and get a job!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A Small Victory
Today, the United States Soccer Team advanced to the next round of the World Cup with their 1-0 defeat of Algeria. Thanks to a goal by Landon Donovan in the 91st minute, the U.S. can breathe a sigh of relief. Not just because they had to work extra hard to overcome early deficits in the first two games, which ended in a 1-1 draw with England and a 2-2 draw with Slovenia. They should also be relieved that the FIFA referees that were so clearly working against them didn’t actually sabotage their efforts to get to the Round of 16. In the last two matches, the US scored goals that were disallowed because the US was supposedly offsides. However, replays in both of those instances showed, in fact, that that was not the case, and the goals should have stood. In the Slovenia match, Maurice Edu’s goal was overturned, which cost the U.S. two points in the standings, since you get three points for a win, one for a draw. Since the Slovenia match ended in a draw, we only got one point, which meant we absolutely had to beat Algeria today.
Today’s match versus Algeria was wide open. Each side had multiple scoring chances. In the 21st minute, Clint Dempsey scored a great goal, which was subsequently wiped out, again because the referee claimed the U.S. was offsides. Again, replays clearly showed that was not the case. So if not for Donovan’s late goal, the U.S. would be on the next flight back to the States.
Even though the United States advanced to the next round of the World Cup, it is quite clear that FIFA, the governing body of international soccer (futbol, football, whatever you want to call it), does not want the U.S. to win the Cup; hence the blatant bad calls. And their reasons may be, at least in part, justified. It is a well-known fact that in the grand scheme of things, Americans do not really care about soccer. According to ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd, the 5 most popular sports in the USA are:
1)NFL Football
2)Major League Baseball
3)College Football (only very slightly behind baseball)
4)NBA Basketball
5)Men’s College Basketball
If I took it to the top ten, I am sure soccer still wouldn’t make the list, getting beaten out by PGA Golf and college baseball, among other things. My point is, soccer doesn’t mean nearly as much to Americans as it does to Europeans or Latin Americans. It’s so not important to our country that we actually have to call it “soccer” as opposed to “football” so we don’t get strikers confused with quarterbacks. The only time soccer really seems to matter in this country is now, during the World Cup. Every four years, the world gets together, and the 32 countries with the best national soccer teams duke it out for 30 days until one is the champion. The U.S. has never one the World Cup because we don’t eat, drink and sleep soccer like European or Central and South American countries. In those countries, soccer is king. It is the national sport/pastime of most of those countries. I think most kids in Brazil come out of the womb holding a soccer ball. In Europe and Latin America, soccer is religion. Therefore, if one of those countries, such as Brazil, were to win the World Cup, the sense of national pride felt by all Brazilians would be overwhelming. The whole country would shut down for a day or two so they could celebrate their victory. If the United States were to win, however, we would probably be happy that we did so, but in the big picture, it would most likely take a distant back seat to seeing our favorite NFL team win the Super Bowl, or our college Alma Mater winning the National Championship in football.
Overall, Americans are bandwagon soccer fans who know enough about the sport to be dangerous. FIFA knows this, and I think they believe that the U.S. winning the World Cup would be a waste since they are convinced our country would never fully appreciate it. It would kind of be like if there were an American Football World Cup. We would most certainly win it every time, but if Argentina were to win it, I don’t think they would see it as that big of a deal, because American Football is our thing, not theirs. That being said, FIFA wants a European or Latin American team to win the World Cup. They want the championship to belong to a country that has immense soccer tradition, and that will fully understand what it means to be World Cup Champions (I am talking about people in general, not the players). Therefore, you can expect more calls going against the U.S. squad in the next round. The FIFA referees have clearly demonstrated their bias against the U.S. We are the only squad that has two goals that were disallowed by the refs, and both wrongfully so. Just like discovering life on another planet, it is clear to me that the U.S. will not win a World Cup in our lifetime.
So enjoy today’s victory America, for it will be short-lived! I hate to sound so negative, but I am just faced with the reality of international soccer politics. But I would be interested to see what would happen if the U.S. did win the World Cup. Perhaps that would get FIFA off our backs. Maybe it would spark a long-lasting American interest in soccer. Maybe. Until then, I am left with my cynicism.
Today’s match versus Algeria was wide open. Each side had multiple scoring chances. In the 21st minute, Clint Dempsey scored a great goal, which was subsequently wiped out, again because the referee claimed the U.S. was offsides. Again, replays clearly showed that was not the case. So if not for Donovan’s late goal, the U.S. would be on the next flight back to the States.
Even though the United States advanced to the next round of the World Cup, it is quite clear that FIFA, the governing body of international soccer (futbol, football, whatever you want to call it), does not want the U.S. to win the Cup; hence the blatant bad calls. And their reasons may be, at least in part, justified. It is a well-known fact that in the grand scheme of things, Americans do not really care about soccer. According to ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd, the 5 most popular sports in the USA are:
1)NFL Football
2)Major League Baseball
3)College Football (only very slightly behind baseball)
4)NBA Basketball
5)Men’s College Basketball
If I took it to the top ten, I am sure soccer still wouldn’t make the list, getting beaten out by PGA Golf and college baseball, among other things. My point is, soccer doesn’t mean nearly as much to Americans as it does to Europeans or Latin Americans. It’s so not important to our country that we actually have to call it “soccer” as opposed to “football” so we don’t get strikers confused with quarterbacks. The only time soccer really seems to matter in this country is now, during the World Cup. Every four years, the world gets together, and the 32 countries with the best national soccer teams duke it out for 30 days until one is the champion. The U.S. has never one the World Cup because we don’t eat, drink and sleep soccer like European or Central and South American countries. In those countries, soccer is king. It is the national sport/pastime of most of those countries. I think most kids in Brazil come out of the womb holding a soccer ball. In Europe and Latin America, soccer is religion. Therefore, if one of those countries, such as Brazil, were to win the World Cup, the sense of national pride felt by all Brazilians would be overwhelming. The whole country would shut down for a day or two so they could celebrate their victory. If the United States were to win, however, we would probably be happy that we did so, but in the big picture, it would most likely take a distant back seat to seeing our favorite NFL team win the Super Bowl, or our college Alma Mater winning the National Championship in football.
Overall, Americans are bandwagon soccer fans who know enough about the sport to be dangerous. FIFA knows this, and I think they believe that the U.S. winning the World Cup would be a waste since they are convinced our country would never fully appreciate it. It would kind of be like if there were an American Football World Cup. We would most certainly win it every time, but if Argentina were to win it, I don’t think they would see it as that big of a deal, because American Football is our thing, not theirs. That being said, FIFA wants a European or Latin American team to win the World Cup. They want the championship to belong to a country that has immense soccer tradition, and that will fully understand what it means to be World Cup Champions (I am talking about people in general, not the players). Therefore, you can expect more calls going against the U.S. squad in the next round. The FIFA referees have clearly demonstrated their bias against the U.S. We are the only squad that has two goals that were disallowed by the refs, and both wrongfully so. Just like discovering life on another planet, it is clear to me that the U.S. will not win a World Cup in our lifetime.
So enjoy today’s victory America, for it will be short-lived! I hate to sound so negative, but I am just faced with the reality of international soccer politics. But I would be interested to see what would happen if the U.S. did win the World Cup. Perhaps that would get FIFA off our backs. Maybe it would spark a long-lasting American interest in soccer. Maybe. Until then, I am left with my cynicism.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Out of Touch?
My wife and I finally purchased a new wireless router for our home, after almost a year of not having one. Oh, the humanity! We just kept putting it off for one reason or another. But when we signed up for Netflix a couple of weeks ago, and discovered we could watch streaming movies through our Nintendo Wii, which requires a wireless connection, we could put off buying a router no more!
So, with said router installed and working perfectly (after having my friend/neighbor/golf buddy/IT guru Keith help us with it), I have been using our wireless connection to its full potential. One big thing I did was to go into the Nintendo Wii Shop Channel and download Blades of Steel (BOS, from now on), which was my favorite NES game growing up. I remember playing that game with friends hours on end during weekend sleepovers (not that we slept, since we were to busy playing BOS). If you don't remember, BOS was a hockey game, and in 1988, it was the top of the line hockey game. And after hours upon hours of playing it, I became virtually unbeatable. I had one the Tournament Mode in Junior, College, and Pro levels more times than I could count.
Fast forward to Monday, when I attempted to pick up where I left off and resume my childhood mastery of BOS. I played as Minnesota and chose Toronto as my opponents (due to their turquoise uniforms). I chose the Junior skill level, since it had been over 15 years since I last played the game, so I wanted to give myself an "easy" re-introduction. And things started off great, as I scored 2 goals in less than three minutes. However, that pride quickly gave way to anger and shock, as Toronto started scoring like a man walking into a women's prison with a fistful of pardons. The problem was I couldn't goaltend! My goalie may as well have been sitting on the bench, because I certainly couldn't move him fast enough. Offensively, I was turning the puck over way too much, and having trouble taking the puck away from Toronto. If Toronto stole the puck from me in my zone, they inevitably scored due to the aforementioned poor goaltending on my part. I wound up losing this first game 14-8.
After cooling off from my initial shock, I chose to try again. But this time, instead of using the Wii remote, which I found cumbersome in controlling my men, I used the control pad that plugs into the remote. This gave me much better control. However, I lost my second game as well, a 13-12 scorefest between my Chicago team and the Edmonton team.
I have not played that game since Monday, mostly because I have been at work. I have lost my childhood mastery of Blades of Steel. It makes me wonder: what else have I lost from my childhood? I am sure with enough practice, I will once again become the BOS player I used to be. Well, not exactly. A lot has happened to me since my BOS heyday. I have graduated college and graduate school, had several jobs, gotten married, bought a house, among other things. In other words, I have grown up considerably since the late 80's, as I am sure everyone has.
I think we all get so caught up in our adult lives to the extent where we provide ourselves with little time to think about how laid back and carefree our childhood was. I think about all the great times I had in high school: Drama club, girls, Fugazi, being "straight edge", and not having any responsibilities except getting good grades and a few household chores. I think about middle school. On second thought, let's not think about that; otherwise I will need therapy, or at least some little blue pills. But, to that point, our childhood experiences, positive and negative, shape the unique individuals we are today. My friend Sandra told me that four people from our High School graduating class have passed away since we graduated: one from suicide, one from a drug overdose, one in a car accident, and one from a terminal illness. I don't know why, but that hit me like a ton of bricks, for some reason. I don't know why, but it did. I mean, I know the PVHS class of 1995 all thought we were invincible. But as an adult, I know that is not the case, and that we have to make the most of every day that God allows us to have. But at the moment Sandra told me about my fallen former classmates, I was flooded with memories from our four years at Park View, the vast majority of which were very positive. So I was like "How could bad things happend to OUR class?" How egocentric is that?
To keep from rambling, let me fast forward back to today. I am going to recommit myself to making sure I don't forget my roots. I accept the fact that my experiences growing up have made me the man I am today. I think I turned out pretty well, although I know I still have some things to work on, as we all do. Nobody should ever "settle" for being the person they are at this moment. We all need to continue to strive for self-improvement. So I am going to make sure I stay in touch with the person I was in the late 80's and 90's, because he helped shaped the person I am today. And I am going to start by trying to regain my prowess at Blades of Steel!
So, with said router installed and working perfectly (after having my friend/neighbor/golf buddy/IT guru Keith help us with it), I have been using our wireless connection to its full potential. One big thing I did was to go into the Nintendo Wii Shop Channel and download Blades of Steel (BOS, from now on), which was my favorite NES game growing up. I remember playing that game with friends hours on end during weekend sleepovers (not that we slept, since we were to busy playing BOS). If you don't remember, BOS was a hockey game, and in 1988, it was the top of the line hockey game. And after hours upon hours of playing it, I became virtually unbeatable. I had one the Tournament Mode in Junior, College, and Pro levels more times than I could count.
Fast forward to Monday, when I attempted to pick up where I left off and resume my childhood mastery of BOS. I played as Minnesota and chose Toronto as my opponents (due to their turquoise uniforms). I chose the Junior skill level, since it had been over 15 years since I last played the game, so I wanted to give myself an "easy" re-introduction. And things started off great, as I scored 2 goals in less than three minutes. However, that pride quickly gave way to anger and shock, as Toronto started scoring like a man walking into a women's prison with a fistful of pardons. The problem was I couldn't goaltend! My goalie may as well have been sitting on the bench, because I certainly couldn't move him fast enough. Offensively, I was turning the puck over way too much, and having trouble taking the puck away from Toronto. If Toronto stole the puck from me in my zone, they inevitably scored due to the aforementioned poor goaltending on my part. I wound up losing this first game 14-8.
After cooling off from my initial shock, I chose to try again. But this time, instead of using the Wii remote, which I found cumbersome in controlling my men, I used the control pad that plugs into the remote. This gave me much better control. However, I lost my second game as well, a 13-12 scorefest between my Chicago team and the Edmonton team.
I have not played that game since Monday, mostly because I have been at work. I have lost my childhood mastery of Blades of Steel. It makes me wonder: what else have I lost from my childhood? I am sure with enough practice, I will once again become the BOS player I used to be. Well, not exactly. A lot has happened to me since my BOS heyday. I have graduated college and graduate school, had several jobs, gotten married, bought a house, among other things. In other words, I have grown up considerably since the late 80's, as I am sure everyone has.
I think we all get so caught up in our adult lives to the extent where we provide ourselves with little time to think about how laid back and carefree our childhood was. I think about all the great times I had in high school: Drama club, girls, Fugazi, being "straight edge", and not having any responsibilities except getting good grades and a few household chores. I think about middle school. On second thought, let's not think about that; otherwise I will need therapy, or at least some little blue pills. But, to that point, our childhood experiences, positive and negative, shape the unique individuals we are today. My friend Sandra told me that four people from our High School graduating class have passed away since we graduated: one from suicide, one from a drug overdose, one in a car accident, and one from a terminal illness. I don't know why, but that hit me like a ton of bricks, for some reason. I don't know why, but it did. I mean, I know the PVHS class of 1995 all thought we were invincible. But as an adult, I know that is not the case, and that we have to make the most of every day that God allows us to have. But at the moment Sandra told me about my fallen former classmates, I was flooded with memories from our four years at Park View, the vast majority of which were very positive. So I was like "How could bad things happend to OUR class?" How egocentric is that?
To keep from rambling, let me fast forward back to today. I am going to recommit myself to making sure I don't forget my roots. I accept the fact that my experiences growing up have made me the man I am today. I think I turned out pretty well, although I know I still have some things to work on, as we all do. Nobody should ever "settle" for being the person they are at this moment. We all need to continue to strive for self-improvement. So I am going to make sure I stay in touch with the person I was in the late 80's and 90's, because he helped shaped the person I am today. And I am going to start by trying to regain my prowess at Blades of Steel!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Quick Thought of the Day
My wife and I bought some Oscar Meyer Light Hot Dogs the other day. They come in a pack of 10. We also purchased hot dog buns, which come in a package of 8. I know this has got to be a conspiracy on the part of the hot dog and hot dog bun companies, the likes of which we have never seen before, purpose unknown. If I were obsessive-compulsive, I would have to buy four packs of hot dogs and five packages of buns to have an even amount of each. Maybe that is the demographic the conspiracy is gunning for.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
My Heavy Metal White Whale
As a DirecTV customer, I get all of those wonderful music stations. It used to be XM Radio stations, but now it has changed to Sonic Tap. Whatever. The heavy metal station is called SPIKE. It is very similar to LiquidMetal.
I keep hearing this song by a band named LD/50 called "Ascension". It is exactly the kind of metal I am into right now. It is supposedly from their self-titled album. However, I cannot find out anything about this band on the internet. No albums listed on Amazon, and the only Myspace Music page for a band called LD50 is for some Latin Electronica band. When I search for LD/50 on Wikipedia, it assumes I am looking for information on the band Mudvayne, who had an album with that title, back when they were dressing up in costumes/makeup ala Slipknot/Mushroomhead/ICP.
So I feel like I am looking for a needle in a haystack. We take for granted that we hear a song on the radio, or the television, and we say "Hey, I can just look them up on the web!" I am not sure why I can't find any info on LD/50, but I hope I find it soon, because I want that album!
I keep hearing this song by a band named LD/50 called "Ascension". It is exactly the kind of metal I am into right now. It is supposedly from their self-titled album. However, I cannot find out anything about this band on the internet. No albums listed on Amazon, and the only Myspace Music page for a band called LD50 is for some Latin Electronica band. When I search for LD/50 on Wikipedia, it assumes I am looking for information on the band Mudvayne, who had an album with that title, back when they were dressing up in costumes/makeup ala Slipknot/Mushroomhead/ICP.
So I feel like I am looking for a needle in a haystack. We take for granted that we hear a song on the radio, or the television, and we say "Hey, I can just look them up on the web!" I am not sure why I can't find any info on LD/50, but I hope I find it soon, because I want that album!
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